The pencils, glue sticks and aisles and aisles of binders have been out at Target since early July, but the time is here: it's back to school season. I love this time of year because it feels like mom new year. It's a fresh start. It's also a season of overwhelm, but does it have to feel that way?
In today's episode, I'm going to talk about how to beat the chaos of back to school season and start the year off more organized and stress-free.
Keep scrolling for the full transcript from this episode.
Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:
Why back to school season is one of the best time to start new routines
How to start your morning the night before (and get more done!)
Simple strategies to help you make this school year the easiest and least stressful ever.
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Episode 274 Transcript
It's okay to admit that mom life feels harder than you ever thought it would be. It's also okay to want it to feel easier. We're surrounded by mixed messages all day. Keep a clean house, but not too clean. Take a rest mama, but not too long. That's just selfish. Homemaking is dead, but you better still take care of everything.
Every day. We're told you have two choices, the Pinterest perfect, or a 24 7 hotline. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. And over it, I'm Kendra Hennessy, founder of Mother Like a Boss™ and I put reluctant homemakers back in the driver's seat of motherhood with realistic routines and practical mindset shifts.
I believe in empowering you to create a home that feels like a safety net, not a tight rope, I believe in martyr free motherhood. That puts you behind the wheel of your own life. As a mom of two, I'm here to give you judgment, free strategies and have honest conversations that equip you with what you need to live your absolute best mom life.
Welcome to the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast.
Before we get into this episode. Mama, I want to tell you something. I want to tell you that you're doing. You are wonderful, even if we've never met. I need you to hear that today. I need you to know that you are understood, valued and respected here because mom life feels anything but easy lately.
The past 17 plus months brought mom. The state of burnout to basically complete and utter exhaustion. I've seen it firsthand myself, feeling the pressure of virtual school, keeping my kids healthy and safe, running a business all while feeling the weight of a global pandemic on my shoulders. More than ever.
I see the absolute need for moms to get back to basics, to Uncomplicate the day-to-day and start running your life. So it's not running you because the number one struggle I'm hearing right now from moms, just like. Is that mom lay feels hard, not difficult. Hard like slogging through wet cement, that's driving too fast.
So we're going back to simple with my brand new free training, a mini course called Becoming Homemakerish crash course. And you're invited to join right now. I'm going to show you how to take charge of your home, your routines and your life. One simple step at a time. So it's as simple as signing up at motherlikeaboss.com/crashcourse, no specific start date, no video to sit in front of a screen for I've created this class to be as easy as possible for every mom.
If you're listening to this podcast, you can listen to this audio course. Each episode of the class is short, but packed with value. And I'm going to give you simple steps to finally get on board with a more supportive mindset to end the perfectionism cycle, to can take control of your time by owning your schedule and to get organized in every space.
You can listen inside the course platform or the private podcast feed that is downloaded right to your phone, you get to choose. So we're offering it in more than one way. This is a complete mini course that you can sign up for free at motherlikeaboss.com/crashcourse
So excited for you to come in and join us. Let's lift the burden friend, sign up for free motherlikeaboss.com/crashcourse and get listening instantly after you finish this episode.
Hey there friends. Welcome back to another episode of the mother like a boss podcast. It's your host again Kendra Hennessy as if it would be someone different. I say that every time, like, it's your host again? Kendra Hennessy, but like who else would it be? Well, if I had a guest host, which really has never happened, but I do like to say that because I know we have new friends. Every single day, every episode, um, these episodes get shared out and new people start listening.
So I just like to introduce myself. So whether you're new or you've been listening for the last three plus years, I welcome you here. And I'm excited to jump into today's episode, which is all about beating the cat. Of back to school season. So I know that some of you have already gone back to school and some of you listening live have not gone back to school.
It really depends on where in the world you are. So I usually do this at the beginning of September. Because I find that it's that good middle ground where I know there are a lot of people starting in like early to mid August and then people starting in late August and then people starting in September after labor day, we start after labor day.
So I'm an upstate New York. We don't get done with school until, you know, like June 20th, ish. That's usually around the time we're done with school here. And then we don't go back until after late. So I just like to do these episodes sort of in that middle time. Um, so that it hits as many people as possible because I find if I do this episode too early, some people are just like, I don't even want to think about this right now.
So you may have already started school. But the great thing is that there is no bad time to readjust your routines. Um, there is no wrong time. It's never too late. To kind of say, you know what, we're going to take a step back. We're going to figure out how we can ensure that this school year is not chaotic.
That there's less stress in whatever way is possible. I know that this back to school season is, I mean, it's different than last year for sure. But there are also a lot of unknowns for people, you know, Still a lot of fear for a lot of people. There's, there's more stress than usual because of COVID. I totally understand that, but I will say for myself, I feel much different than I did last year.
Last year, there were so many unknowns. Um, last year we chose to do virtual. The kids started later. We didn't even start until mid September and the first few weeks everyone was virtual and then kids didn't go back to school in person until the first week in October, everything was just different and different can be hard because different means unknown and different means more stressful and unknown means more stressful.
So I understand that for some people, there is still a lot of that, but I also do want to acknowledge that. For myself. And many of my friends that I've talked to there is at least a difference from last year in a lightening a little bit, and hoping to get back to normalcy. I know for our school district, um, you know, they sent out the proposal for the new school year, a few weeks ago, and a lot of words like pre COVID, like, you know, getting back to a pre COVID.
World in the, in the schools, um, with some exceptions, uh, w it just felt good. It felt like some normalcy, even though it's not completely back to normal. All right. So I just want to acknowledge that, and I want to acknowledge that your feelings of anxiety or fear or worry, or of the unknown, and if it's causing stress, they're totally valid and you don't have to shame yourself into not feeling that way, just because somebody else doesn't.
Um, and I just want us always to remember that the feelings that we have are valid and that you're never shamed for them here. So when we're looking at beating the chaos of back to school, and really what I want us to focus on is creating a school year that is not chaotic. Like how can we start now?
Fresh. And continue that through the next few months and into the new year. What I see happening a lot, which tends to happen around the new year as well is that we set these big audacious goals and resolutions first. And it's too much for us to do at once. And so then we fall off and I see this, that back to school time, I like to think of back to school.
Time is like mom, new year. Uh, yes. I know dads are involved. This is a mother like boss podcast. I talked to mom, so that's why I'm talking to, um, I like to think of it. As I always, since my kids have been going to school, it was like, it's like mom, new year. Cause it's like this fresh start. And then we have the new year that comes up in a few months.
And so with that, I see what happens with a lot of people. Is that they think this is going to be a different year. And instead of focusing on one or two areas that they want to improve on that they want to make less stressful routines. They want to focus on. It's like we burn the whole thing to the ground and start from scratch.
Well, that is very daunting. And that's a lot for you to do while you're also trying to manage everything else in your life. Remember. Your kids going back to school is just one portion of your life. And when we thrust ourselves into fixing and changing every single part of that, it's a lot. And what happens is after a few weeks, sometimes even just a few days, we completely fall off.
Then we feel like a failure because we couldn't do it. Couldn't hang. And then that affects our, how we show up because we're like, well, why even bother? Forget it. My life is just chaotic. It's just the way that it is. We don't subscribe to that here. We don't subscribe to that hot mess. Mom, culture of like nothing is ever going to be good as a mom.
Everything's going to be stressful. I can't ever get my ish together. We're allowed to have a hot mess days. We have them all the time, hot mess moments. It doesn't have to be your personality type and you don't have to fall into that belief that your not good enough to make it work for you because you are.
So some things that have very much helped me and help my stress. I'm going to talk through today. So the first thing is what are my expectations for myself and my kids? What are my actual expectations for this new year? If I want it to be less chaotic, less stressful, what do I expect? Do I expect that we're just going to get out of the house on time.
That we're going to get out of the house a little bit earlier that the kids are going to get on the bus that we're going to ensure we have lunches made the night before. Um, is it that the kids are gonna pick their own clothes? Is that they're going to get dressed before they eat breakfast or vice versa.
What are your actual expectations? Most people do not ever take a hard look at what their expectations. They don't ever sit down and write them out or talk with others about them. We only ever realize what our expectations are when they haven't been met. When we don't get our expectations met because we didn't communicate them in the first place.
Then we feel resentful over them. We feel disappointed. We feel angry, but the truth is if you never realize what your expectations were, never communicated them. How can anyone meet them? So what are the expectations of myself and my kids and how will we meet those? Well, if my expectation is that we're going to get out of the house 10 minutes earlier than we did last year.
So we ensure that we're not late to school. How are we going to meet. What are the things that need to happen? It's like working backwards. You're saying here is the end result I want, now I need to work backwards. Well, then that means we need to ensure that things are done earlier. Does that mean we have to wake up earlier?
Does that mean that we have to, uh, get things done the night before? Are there systems we need to put in place for that to happen, but you have to know how you're going to meet those expectations in the first place. I do really encourage people when they know that a season is going to be changing. So back to school is a great example of this is to start this early, start it like a week before.
Well, I used to do this when I went back to school, probably starting in like middle school or high school. Before that I know that my mom wanted us to do this. The week before school started, we kind of got up at the time we were going to get up. If we were going to school and got ready as if we were going to school.
What that did was it got us into not only got us into the routine, but it also gives you some leeway to kind of, um, Assess, if things are going, you know, if, if you're doing the things that you need to be doing well, gee, I woke up at six and then I got myself ready and now I realize, boy, it only takes me 20 minutes to get ready.
I really don't need to wake up at six or I need to wake up earlier or, oh, I need to do these things the night before. It's sort of like a test launch. That's how I look at it. Yeah. When, uh, when, uh, um, rocket ship is going to go up into space, they do a lot of test launches to troubleshoot what could go wrong and to make sure that it's as perfect as possible when they're actually launching.
Now, if school has already started for you and you're like, well, dang it, Kendra. That's already happened. That's okay. Because what you can do is maybe try it on a weekend. You could do it on like a Sunday. If you realize you went back to school and you're like, It just, it didn't turn out the way I want. We need to reassess our routines.
Great. Try it on the weekend. Give it a try for on a Saturday or a Sunday when you're not going to school again, because then you can assess a little bit more, but you have to know what your expectations are and how you're going to meet them. The other thing that I think a lot of parents do not do, I'm going to call us all out right now.
Uh, what are the expectations my kids have. What is their input on what would make the days go smoother? We are very much as parents all about the doing and the telling our kids what to do and the creating the routines for them and the creating the habits for them. But what about what they want? What about what would make things run smoother for them?
The chaos and the stress trickles down. We often think that I think it like goes up, it trickles up, but it doesn't. And a lot of the reasons that our kids tend to be, um, more stressed out or running late or. Feeling out of sorts or throwing fits is because they're getting that from us. Not that we are teaching that necessarily, but that feeling the emotions are trickling down.
So if we can ask them, Hey, you know, what would feel better this school year? What would feel easier for you? Would it be not doing homework when you first get home from school? Would it be doing your homework when you first get home from school? So you're not waiting? Would it be reading before bed? Would it be having a.
You know, I don't know, having some kind of system in place, um, for the morning time that ensures that your shoes and your jacket and your backpack are all in the same place, so that it's easy to just get out the door. What would be the things that would work for them. So that's something that, um, is really important is to just know what their expert, your expectations are and their expectations are and get the input.
We definitely want to create a system for getting out of the house. If you are not homeschooling, if you're homeschooling, it's very different. You're not getting out of the house necessarily, but if your kids go to school in any way, creating a system for getting out the door and what happens when they come home, those two times are really crucial.
Like how can we create a system so that. In the morning, everything is already set. We're not scrambling. We're not searching around the house for the backpack. We're not searching around the house for the thing that we need to bring to school for a show and tell we're not searching around the house for a missing shoe.
Everything is already there. Now the easiest way to do that is to do it the night before plain and simple. You know, I realize everyone's situation is different, but if I had one tip, I could give people it start your morning routine. That's it, uh, good morning routine starts the evening before, because you're more in control in your evening than you are in your morning.
And then what happens when they come home? Cause that tends to be where that breakdown happens as well is the coming home and just throwing the backpack somewhere and not taking the lunch out. And then it gets all gross. And, and then by the evening time, then everyone's tired. And then you forget about the fact that they, you had to sign a permission slip.
So, what is the system when they come home now, something that is really important. This is why it's important to have the input from your kids is they may be starving when they get home. So maybe they do want to just drop their backpack and get a snack. Okay. Well, is there a way that if you go pick them up from school, could you bring a snack for them to have in the car so that they're not coming in the house and feeling ravaged and then kind of being out of sorts when they come home?
Or if you don't and they take a bus. Great. Is there a way for them to get a snack immediately to have that ready? Right. When they come in and then, okay. You've had your snack now, what is our next step that we're going to do now? We're going to go back, get our backpacks, take things out. What is the system you're gonna to.
For that, because that's going to help with the chaos. When we don't have systems, we end up having chaos and stress. Right? So again, what is your morning routine? What are the things you're going to do in the morning? And then what are the things you're going to do when they get home? Whether they get home directly, whether they go to a daycare or after-school program and then come home.
Whenever that situation is just having a system for that. Another thing that I really love to do with having a Sunday check-in for the week ahead. Having like a 10 to 20 minute check-in and I don't mean like a sit-down check-in necessarily, but almost. Um, a refresh it's like a Sunday refresh for the week.
That's a really great way to kind of get out of that chaotic back to school season. Um, and just doesn't matter if it's now or it's in December or it's March of next year, but helping the wheat to go smooth. Sunday is a great time to do that because it's the start of the week and just having the check-in of, okay.
What are the things coming up this week? Let's look ahead at the calendar together for our personal calendar and the school calendar. Are there any projects that are due or is there anything you need from me? How can we set up the week? How can we ensure that we have, maybe we have snacks already packed up and ready to go set out for the week?
Um, maybe it's grocery shopping, maybe it's planning the lunches. But having just a quick check-in, doesn't have to be very long. If you have enough time to listen to this podcast, you have enough time to do a Sunday. Check-in just something simple. And it's also a great routine to teach your kids like, Hey, we're refreshing for the week.
And so what are the things we need to do to get ourselves ready to prepare so that we're not. For the week ahead. And the last thing I want to leave you with is just a little bit of Kendra friendly advice. Don't do what everyone else is doing. Just out of fear of judgment. Do what works for you. So what I mean is if you're like, listen, I don't like packing lunches.
I don't want to pack lunches. My kids buy lunch, but you have a friend that's like, oh, my kids never buy lunch because I like to cook them wholesome, organic. Great. That's good for her. Do what works for you. Neither of those situations is wrong or right. It's right for them. So do what works for you and your particular situation when it comes to, I mean, that's just great advice in general, but when it comes to your kids and school and the routines that you guys have, it's okay to do what works for you.
I know that there are parents out there that say my kids will absolutely do homework when they walk in the door, because that's something that they've realized works for their family. That doesn't work for us. I like to give my kids some, some time they've been in school all day, especially when they go back to school, actually, especially when they were virtual.
I wanted my son away from the computer. I wanted him away from a desk. I wanted him outside playing. Or do playing with Legos or reading, or even watching something on TV, just enjoying something that didn't take all of his brain power, because he's been using that all day. And then we had a specific time which was before dinner that that's when homework got done, but neither one of those things is right or wrong.
It's just right for what works for us. So you don't have to do what works for everyone else. Um, if someone else's judging you, that's on them, their judgment, as a reflection of them, it's not a reflection of you. And if we could all get to a place where we realized. We could do what works for us. It would be so much better and we'd all be so much happier.
So thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that you're back to school. Season is incredible. Come onto Instagram, which is where I hang out the most. Follow me at mother like a boss. And come tell me about your back to school season. Did you already start? Are you starting now? If you have any followup questions, if you have any tips that you want to share with me, I would love to hear that.
Be sure to share this episode out with a friend, especially your parent friends out there, because this can be extremely helpful for them to just get started, kickstart this to be the best school year ever for you and your kids. And as always go forth and mother like a boss. Well, this episode may be over, but we don't have to say goodbye.
Head over to mother like a boss.com for more resources that will help you shift your mindset and put you firmly back in the driver's seat of motherhood. We're all in this together. And if you're on the socials, let's be friends. Follow me on Instagram @motherlikeaboss for daily updates behind the scenes, fun and weekly live chats.
I'll catch you next week.
