Ep 281: 6 simple ways to keep your house organized, 10 minutes at a time

Home organization has become way too complicated. There, I said it. From TV shows to billions of Pinterest search results to entire lines of products at Target, organization is now less about systems and more about flashiness. I'm pumping the brakes on all of it.

Today, I'm going to give you 6 simple and highly effective ways to keep your house organized in as little as 10 minutes at a time.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why being “organized” doesn’t mean what we think it means.

• How to change your mindset and “become” an organized person

• 6 simple strategies you can use today to keep your house organized in 10 minutes or less

More value comin’ atcha. Check out these resources:

• Mom life makes staying consistent with your routines and habits 10X harder than it needs to be. Let’s fix that and get (and stay) consistent, zero perfection necessary. Download your free consistency tracker and mini-training here.

• Looking for a podcast episode on a specific topic? We’ve made it simple. Check out the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast Directory here and find the episodes you’re looking for organized by topic.

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If you loved this episode as much as I loved sharing it, there is more where that came from.

• Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out. And I would just loooove if you would leave a review and rating. It's a little thing that makes a big difference and helps me to continue to bring super valuable content and fabulous guests.

• Have a topic you want me to cover on the podcast? Submit them to us here. This show is all for you, mama. Let's talk about the things you most want to hear about.

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Whether you're looking to create more than just an organized command center for your family, or you're ready to make this year that you finally get your ish together, I've got you covered.

Homemakerish U is a modern solution for creating a home that’s manageable and a life that’s uncomplicated for any mom, in every season.

Join over 3500+ other moms who have taken control of their lives and homes by stepping up to become #homemakerish

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EPISODE 281 TRANSCRIPT

Well, hello there, friends. Welcome back to the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast. Here we are. Again, it's your host, Kendra Hennessy. I'm pretty excited for this conversation today because it involves one of my favorite topics and that is organization. Staying organized, getting organized, being organized, all the things before we get into all of the stuff that I have for you.

I do want to say that there is a huge misconception about what organization actually means. And it's the reason that getting organized and quotation marks my air quotes, feel so difficult. It's the reason that there are people that feel like they're just not naturally organized and then people feel like they are naturally organized.

Now I do think that there are, obviously just like there are different personality traits and people have different strengths. There are some people that may think in a more organized fashion, uh, for some people being organized is just the way that they think it's also the way that they stay.

It's the way that they fight off stress, I'll say is when, when things are organized in a certain fashion, then it helps them to feel like they're more in control. And for some people it's just not how they think. And they don't really care that much. But I will also say that anyone can learn to be organized.

We have to get away from the notion that organization is about the tools that you use and that it is about. We have to separate organization from hyper organization. Now, hyper organization is the kind of stuff that you see when you're looking on Pinterest. So say you did a search for organized pantry on Pinterest.

You're going to get a lot of search results that have hyper organized pantries, meaning. They have gone to the container store or target or gotten off Amazon, you know, all of these plastic containers that hold their different kinds of cereal and pasta and rice and oats and flour, and they all are matching and everything is coordinated and labeled with really pretty labels.

That's hyper organization. There's nothing wrong with it. That's wonderful if that works for you and you have the time and the energy and the bandwidth to. Awesome. That's not what makes something organized though. Those are tools. Those are supplies, dozer, things that visually make your space more appealing, but they don't keep you organized.

Organization is about systems. It's about how easy is it for me to. Find something when I need it. How easy is it for me to put something away when I'm done with it? And if someone else were to come into my house or my space, my phone, digital, whatever, if they were to come here, Would I be able to with pretty good accuracy, let them know where something is.

Would they be able to find it? That's how we know if something's organized, it doesn't have to look nice. It doesn't have to look like everybody else's it doesn't have to have pretty labels. It doesn't have to coordinate organization is just a matter of systemizing making a system for something that makes it easier to find and clears up some of the.

Uh, obviously we don't want to be organizing clutter. So the first step in an organization is just decluttering getting rid of the things that we don't need. Um, but a lot of times there's this. Anti organization when it comes to decluttering, like, oh, you don't need to organize just like declutter. Well, the two go together because it really doesn't matter how much you declutter, if the rest of your stuff that you have in your house, isn't organized.

So for example, you could go through all your paperwork and be like, I am only now keeping what I need, but if you have no file system for that, and it's not easy for you to find what you need, doesn't matter how much you get. No, the two work together really well, but we first have to understand what organization is.

I talk about this quite a bit. So when I was thinking about this episode, uh, I kind of just put together like, I don't know, like a smorgasbord of a mishmash of six simple ways to keep your house organized 10 minutes at a time. So these aren't things that are like, well, if you do this in 10 minutes, you'll never have to do them again, but I am all about creating moments.

I'm all about taking five to 10 to 15 minute pockets of time, getting things done in them. And then moving along with your day, because most of us don't have hours and hours or an entire weekend or an entire week to dedicate to just organizing. So what if we just did 10 minutes at a time? So it's not like step-by-steps not like six steps.

It's just six, sorry. Six simple ways that you can. Get this stuff done and get organized. And these are six things that I have done in my own home either have done in the past when my kids were younger or still do like the, I practice what I preach. If I wouldn't be. I don't talk about it. If it's not something I know about, I usually bring on an expert or I find someone else, but I don't talk about things that I don't do or give advice on stuff that I wouldn't do, because to me that seems really hypocritical to be telling people you need to be doing this.

And then in the background, I'm not doing it at all. Okay. And I also love to learn, uh, Doing. And so sometimes I do things for a little while and then realized, I don't know that this is the best way to do it. And so I like to talk about that as well. So let's get into it right now, the first way that I have written down here.

Cause I just keep notes so that I don't forget things. Cause there's no way I'm going to remember. All six of these is creating a home for everything. Everything in your house should have a home. It should live somewhere. And that. It's not the kitchen counter. I mean, unless it's a toaster then yeah. It lives on the kitchen counter or your bread basket or your blender, maybe that does live on the kitchen counter.

But if it doesn't need to be there, why is it living there? And I have kind of a bold question for. Which is, if you can't find a home for it, why do you have it? Why do you have something in the first place? If there's no where for it to live? Now, I want to discuss the fact that not everybody lives in a house or dwelling, where there is enough space for them to keep everything.

For example, When I first got married, um, when my husband and I were dating and then got engaged, had her first baby got married, all that stuff. We lived in a small townhouse, like tiny, maybe 900 square feet ish. Um, It was the, I think our bathroom was bigger than our kitchen because the bathroom was converted from an old porch.

Like they had like a porch, you know, years and years and years ago, probably 30 years ago. And they converted that porch into a, they ended up taking that space and making it a bathroom. So it was actually pretty big. Our washer and dryer was in it. It was bigger than our kitchen. Our kitchen was very. The pantry area was very small.

I think we had like two cabinets. There was just no space. So we had to make, do with this space that we had, meaning that we got, um, you know, we got this like shelving unit that we put things on. That's where we had our coffee maker and the toaster and things like that we had to make do. Cause we didn't have a lot of counter space.

But the other thing I will say is that I didn't. A lot of appliances when I lived in that house, because if I wasn't going to use it on a very regular basis, I did not want it cluttering up my kitchen. Now we have a much bigger kitchen. Um, and we have a lot of pantry space, a lot of storage space. So I don't mind having some things that maybe I only use once or twice a year because I have the space to store them.

But we have to get really honest about the space that we. So that's the first thing I just want to make. I wanted to make that statement because it's really easy to say, you know, just get like, just get rid of stuff, get rid of everything when you live in a bigger place. But if you're in a smaller place, it's like, well, I still need a toaster.

I still need a, or I still want a, uh, a coffee maker. So I got to figure out a place to put that. Right. But everything in your home should have a place to live. And this goes for toys. This goes for knick-knack things. I'm just like picking up my right now. You can hear it in the background. Like I'm picking up my headphones and it's like, okay, I need my headphones, but do my headphones need to sit randomly on my desk.

No, they don't that they don't need to live here. There's a small little dish that I have that I keep my stuff in on the side of my desk here. And it's so easy to just put those small things. So everything, having a home is a way to stay more organized without actually having to do a ton of work, figuring out where do these things live, going through the clutter.

If you have clutter right now on your countertop, what you can do, you can do this 10 minutes at a time. You can sit down with all of that clutter and say, where does this. Where is this supposed to be? If I don't have a place for it, and I know that I'm not going to use it, why am I keeping it? So we, these, this is how we make better decisions and this takes a lot of practice.

So it is okay if you're like, this is really overwhelming at first and I can't do it. This takes practice. I am really ruthless with stuff. I hate clutter. I have no use for it. I have no use for keeping extra crap in my house that we don't need. My husband is the same way and my kids are becoming the same way too.

Um, I don't need to have things just to have them. If I don't have a purpose for them, get rid of it, recycle it, sell it, donate it, whatever. At this point in my life, I donate most things cause I'm like I don't have time to put things on the market. I don't have time to sift through the messages. Sit at home, have someone maybe come over.

No, thanks. I'll just give it away. Um, it just, I don't like clutter. I've been very, very clear about that because it causes me a great deal of stress and anxiety. And I know that about myself. I would rather have less stuff and know that the stuff that I have is serving us. And so because of that, it's much easier to find a home for things.

So this is kind of too. If there's no home for it, why do we have it? And also, is there no home for it because you don't have space if you don't have space, is it because there's too much clutter, but even just taking a few minutes and asking yourself in the cluttered areas of your home, why do they get that way?

Usually they get that way because it's like every. Just ends up there. Count I say kitchen countertops. Cause that's where it happens the most, but they end up there because there's either no designated place for it. Or, um, it hasn't been made clear where that stuff goes. So just having a home for everything, I'm a big advocate for that.

So I just figured I'd put this in here doing five minute decluttering spurts. I am all about going through your stuff. Five or 10 minutes at a time. Now a decluttering weekend is a beautiful thing. My husband just did that in the garage. He kind of is the out outside of the front door, the garage door.

Like once you leave the dwelling, he kind of takes care of stuff. He likes that. It's what he enjoys. He's a fabricator. So he works in a garage in his own shop. And so he loves keeping those areas, tidy and organized and things like that. So I kind of leave that up to him. And the other day I came home and he was going through everything, getting ready for the winter.

You know, we had to move like the pool stuff inside the pool is closed now. And just moving things around, getting his motorcycle inside. Cause it's probably only going to do like one or two more rides for the year. And so. Going Doug doing that all in one day is great. If you have the time, but on a day-to-day basis, one of the greatest things you can do is just five minute decluttering, just going through one area for five minutes, paperwork, toys, clothes, your bathroom.

Sometimes I just do that in my bathroom. I go through, or my, uh, my vanity where my makeup is. I just, you know, I'm doing my makeup. I go, I'm going to take five minutes. This has expired. I don't need this. This is almost empty. Throw it out, throw it out, throw it out. And in just that five minutes, I feel better.

I didn't have to take a special day to do it. Just those five minutes, even if all I've gotten rid of is four items who cares, it's four less items you have to contend with in your home. And one of the greatest ways to stay organized is to constantly be asking yourself is what I'm keeping, what I actually want.

And five-minute decluttering spurts is the way. The next thing that I just think is so great. Especially when you have young kids is to do a 10 minute nightly dash, which is the cleanup and putting things away. So this is, and can be an entire family. Event that you do, which is just before bed or before, maybe before your nighttime routine starts before the, the baths and the brushing, the teeth and the reading, the books and having the snack.

It's okay. Guess what? It's time for it. It's time for our 10 minute nightly dash, where everyone just takes the things that end up around the house all day. You know exactly what I'm talking about, right. The toys that ended up in the living room, the stuff that ended up like in our house, in our kitchen, we have four seats, like four stories.

As we have that kind of kitchen and we have four stools and my son sits there. It's like Everett spot where he sits. And he'll just like, bring a blanket from downstairs to sit and watch his iPad there. And he'll bring a toy in the tutorial, fall on the ground. And it's like all these little things that throughout the day, just end up where they don't belong.

And if you just do a 10 minute dash of putting that stuff away and everybody is helping, it's not only keeping you. Your house clean and more organized, but it's also a great way to teach kids about putting things away and like, how do we know where things go? Well, things that does not go on the kitchen counter, that doesn't stay on the coffee table.

It actually goes somewhere else. And that will make it easier to find when we need it. So something really great to kind of keep your house clean and organize and get everyone involved. This next one is one of my favorite things ever. And I've done this since I was younger, without even realizing it. I didn't realize that this is what I was doing, but having a, do we need it basket.

So I know that there are some things that you have when you're decluttering or trying to organize that. You're like, I don't know if I need this. Like, I'm not really sure. And so having a basket or a bin, like even one of those plastic totes that you can. Things in for a certain amount of time. So say it's three months and you just keep it in your basement.

And what you do is you set like an alarm or something like that. And you say in three months, we're going to go through it. And we're going to say if I didn't need it in these three months, Then we can get rid of it. And sometimes what happens is that we think in the moment we need something and we're giving ourselves the grace not to get rid of it right now.

And coming back to it later. And our emotions may be very different now that it's sort of out of sight where now we're like, yeah, you know, after three months I realized I don't really need that. Or six months, whatever it is for you, it can also be just a small basket that you keep handy. Like it could be something that you.

You know, in your home, somewhere in the living room, it's like, we're just kind of having a, do we need it basket and things go in there and then they don't have a home. And then after, you know, once a week, you go through it and go do any of this guys, is this something we really need? No, you can also do this for paperwork.

So a great way to keep yourself organized with paperwork is put away the stuff, you know, you need immediately, but then also. Having a, you know, almost like a, I look at it like a holding place. It's like a holding place for, uh, not sure if I'm going to need this. I don't know how I feel about it right now.

I don't have the emotional or mental or physical energy to deal with it right now. So I'm just going to keep it here. And then once a week I go through it or once a month or once every two months, however you want to figure. Is is fine. Uh, but this is such a great way to stay organized with the things that don't quite fit, or you're not quite sure about another thing I love to do, and this can take you 10 minutes to set up again, 10 minutes at a time is utilize your vertical space. Most people do not utilize the vertical space they're using the horizontal space and horizontal space is clutter catching, right?

Anything with a horizontal surface tends to just collect stuff because it's a place to set things When your hands are full, but we very rarely utilize that vertical space in our home, the walls, the backs of doors to keep things organized, especially in small, uh, dwellings houses, apartments in close quarters, using that vertical space is so wonderful because you're getting, uh, more space that you can keep things organized.

So for example, um, Baskets that you hang on the wall filers. So like the metal or plastic file holders that you can set up in a mudroom in an entryway anywhere where you have the vertical space to hang something on the side of your cabinets in your kitchen, which is what I have done for years in our old house.

Our last home, we did that because we didn't have a lot of space in the kitchen to put things on the wall. So I just put it on the side and. That's a secondary tip, which I talk a lot about, which is using your prime real estate. So that's prime real estate because it's the place that the papers end up right on the kitchen counter.

Well, now I have an organization system. Where that happens. So I'm taking the habit that I already have, which is setting stuff on the kitchen counter. And now I'm, I have a system, an organized system for putting it away and I didn't really have to do much work. I didn't really have to do that much more work.

I just had to, instead of putting them on the counter, put them in the filer. So great. So like so easily. But using that vertical space allows you to be organized, uh, without having to use more of your horizontal space or having baskets and things like that. Like sitting on horizontal space, which then ends up cluttering that, that area up even more so utilizing the hooks and, um, yeah, like anything, a basket related.

The other thing that, you know, Search on Pinterest or Google and see, which is wonderful is using the, uh, over the door or behind the door. A lot of people use in closets. The shoe organizers, which are the, just the plastic over the door shoe organizers, which people use for many things, other than shoes.

Many of you may use this in your pantry for snacks, putting snack stuff in, especially if you don't have a big pantry, but I've seen people use it in their bathrooms for, uh, holding different things like shampoos and lotions. Towels and things like that, that they can put in there. If they don't have a lot of space, if you don't have a linen closet, uh, for art supplies, for toys, this is a way to utilize all that vertical space.

That's just sitting there, you're not using it. And it's a way to stay organized without cluttering up any other space. And that can take you so little time to set up and it really doesn't take a lot of time to maintain either. And then lastly, one of my favorite ways to stay organized in the kitchen.

And this is less about, again, this is less about the stuff. Notice that I didn't say go out and buy a whole bunch of stuff. Uh, this is more about how I maintain organization. And one of the ways that I do that is before I go grocery shopping, spending 10 minutes going through the pantry every week.

Sometimes it's only a few minutes because if I just went grocery shopping five days ago, I don't need to do this, but going through your pantry, Every week and reassessing what you actually need. It's life-changing how many of you I am. I know I'm not the only one. How many of you write down your grocery list?

You know, you're going to make such and such this week. Okay. I'm going to make chili this week. Great. So you write down the ingredients that, you know, you need, you go to the store, you buy it, come home, and then you realize I already had three cans of. I forgot. I had three cans of beans, cause I didn't go through my pantry before.

So just giving yourself the time to do that is a great way to not have to buy more than you need, which helps you stay organized in. Uh, in your kitchen, it also helps you to assess what you actually have and what you don't have and what you need more of and what you don't need need more of it's kind of like inventory.

I look at it like inventory and taking inventory is one of the greatest ways to stay organized because taking inventory of what you already have allows you to not have to buy more of something, which keeps clutter up. Which makes you makes it easier to stay organized. It's a beautiful cycle. Okay. And so those are just the six, very simple ways to stay organized in your house.

10 minutes at a time. Again, I didn't get too far into organized systems, how to actually organize every space in your house, because I wanted these to be really broad. I wanted these to be things that people could start implementing right away in, again, less than 10 minutes. But I also know that for many.

You need, you know, like the next step. Okay. What comes after this? I really just need, like, step-by-step, I'm looking for extra support. I have an incredible program. Um, it's called go organize yourself. Fun fact. It was the first course I ever created back in. Summer to fall of 2016. It was a first course ever.

Um, it's been redone now because believe me, you did not want the first version blessed. The three people that brought that first version five years ago, it has been redone since, and we've updated it, but go organize yourself as a DIY course to help you organize. Your home and your family one space at a time.

So if you want more information and to come join it's at this moment, it is only $39, which is a bananas price for this course for how much you're getting. Go to motherlikeaboss.com/goy. That’s motherlikeaboss.com/goy for the deets.

You're going to get my unique seven step process for organizing any area of your home in life. And we go from understanding your goals to creating a system, to deciding what fun supplies you do and don't need this process has helped thousands of moms get and stay organized. So this isn't just again about hyper organization and making things pretty.

This is about staying that way. There's 35 plus audio lessons with hours of valuable content catered to meet you where you are in your home. You're going to get an entire module with lessons on specifically organizing every area of your home, including digitally. So I go through. The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room specifically after we go through the seven steps as well.

I also put in pep talk lessons, which are designed to kind of give you that boost of confidence. We have lots of bonus lessons in there, including like how to create your own principles for staying organized in Canva. And the greatest part of all of these is that you get lifetime access. Um, so you can go through it at your own pace, but this truly is the simplest way to get organized and stay organized.

No matter what season you're in. And we're going one space at a time and we are not talking hyper organization here. We're talking organization that fits your family and your needs. Even if you're someone that says that they're not organized, even if you've never been organized before in your life. Okay.

So go to motherlikeaboss.com/goy and join us. I appreciate all of you being here. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you are loving these, I would love you to leave us a rating or review. We love those five star reviews here at the mother, like a boss podcast, and appreciate them.

Share this out with a friend. You can tag me on Instagram at mother like a boss, and I'll shout you out. Um, but I'm just so grateful. I know I say that every episode I will not stop saying that I am grateful for all of you who listen. I appreciate all of you so much and just love you from the. Of my heart and as always go forth and mother like a boss.

Ep 280: Where to start when everything feels overwhelming

This is by far one of the top 5 most commonly ask questions at Mother Like a Boss™ and I'm jumping in with both feet today. There is nothing more overwhelming than trying to get started...when you already feel overwhelmed. It's like an overwhelmed soup.

I've got big value for you today, mindset shifts and practical tips to help you get started on anything, even when you feel overwhelmed and burnt out.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

• What being “overwhelmed” really is and why it’s completely valid to feel that way.

• How we’ve been conditioned to believe overwhelment is something we all have to live with.

• The most simple ways you can get started when it feels like too much

More value comin’ atcha. Check out these resources:

• Mom life makes staying consistent with your routines and habits 10X harder than it needs to be. Let’s fix that and get (and stay) consistent, zero perfection necessary. Download your free consistency tracker and mini-training here.

• Looking for a podcast episode on a specific topic? We’ve made it simple. Check out the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast Directory here and find the episodes you’re looking for organized by topic.

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If you loved this episode as much as I loved sharing it, there is more where that came from.

• Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out. And I would just loooove if you would leave a review and rating. It's a little thing that makes a big difference and helps me to continue to bring super valuable content and fabulous guests.

• Have a topic you want me to cover on the podcast? Submit them to us here. This show is all for you, mama. Let's talk about the things you most want to hear about.

---

Whether you're looking to create more than just an organized command center for your family, or you're ready to make this year that you finally get your ish together, I've got you covered.

Homemakerish U is a modern solution for creating a home that’s manageable and a life that’s uncomplicated for any mom, in every season.

Join over 3500+ other moms who have taken control of their lives and homes by stepping up to become #homemakerish

---

Well, hi there friends. Welcome back to another episode of the mother like a boss podcast. It's your host, Kendra Hennessy. And whew. Do I have a good episode for you today. This is going to be a deep one. Not even sure how long it's going to be. I'm being honest to have my outline. I have a lot to say. I have a lot to help you with and guide you through.

And so just buckle up and let's do this. We are going to talk about where to start. When everything feels overwhelming. If I had to put that, uh, all of the questions that I get asked here at mother, like a boss, either through my DMS, in my student groups, in our emails, every way that somebody can talk to me, if I had to put those in a list of like the highest ranked to the lowest ranked, this one would be in the top five, for sure.

Because this is the thing that gets asked the most when it comes to any topic around motherhood, home management, homemaking, parenting, all the things. Where do I start? When everything feels overwhelming, you know, I'm, I am literally overwhelmed by it all. Kendra, where do I get started? And first and foremost, I want to let you know, because this is one of the top ranked questions. You're not alone.

Oh, in fact, this is something that I still struggle with. There are areas I struggle with this, for sure. And I have to go back to everything that I'm going to talk about in this episode and ask myself the same questions. Do the same steps, work through the same issues, because this comes up for me at different times in my life where it feels like there's so much to do that.

You just kind of say, I don't even know where to start you look. It's like looking at a giant mess. In a room and saying there are so much mess. I don't even know where to begin. And there's a lot of reasons that that comes up for us. It's a lot of re there's a lot of reasons which we're going to talk about why we feel overwhelmed.

And it isn't just about being overwhelmed. There's a lot of deeper stuff there, but because this is one of the most common questions I thought let's just tackle it right. In a podcast episode. Now we talk about this in. Many of my courses, but in homemaker issue, my signature home management course, you can get more information at homemakerishu.com

I always like to put that out there for people, because I always get messages. Like I heard you talking about that course and I don't know where to find it. So that's where to find all the information. There's actually a lesson in there about where to get started when it feels overwhelming.

Like when you feel like everything's a mess, when it feels like everything's overwhelming, we actually have a lesson in there about. And I will say, I'm going to talk about this at the end, but we are going to be completely revamping homemaker issue next year and relaunching it in March of 2022. And there is going to be a section dedicated to this, not just one lesson, a section dedicated, because that's how important it is.

And I've seen now. You know, over 22,000 students in total, in all of my programs, I have seen that this is the thing that is holding people back the most from actually getting started. It's not that they don't know what to do. It's not that they don't have the right tools or the skills, or even the mindset it's that they just don't know where to start, because it all feels overwhelming.

And then they're paralyzed. They're like, I can't even move. And so we procrastinate and we hold, hold off and we get angry, which we'll talk about in just a second. A lot of us react in different ways. So we just don't get started in the first place. Okay. You are not alone. I want you to know that. So let's first talk about what it means to be overwhelmed.

Okay. So we all know what it feels like to be overwhelmed. But years ago, when I first started talking about this, I said something pretty bold and it's really stuck with me. And it stuck with a lot of my students and, um, people in my audience. If you were around, back in the day, And that the thing I said was that overwhelment is an illusion.

Now that strikes a chord with people and you may be like real angry at me right now. Like, excuse you do not tell me that being, you know, overwhelmed as an illusion. Ah, no, I didn't say being overwhelmed is an illusion. I said the idea of overwhelm can be an illusion. And I'm going to talk about why the feeling itself is not an illusion.

The art, your feelings are always valid, always no matter what your feelings matter, and they are valid and they're not illusions, but the idea that overwhelm is a tangible thing. We actually turned it into. Turn it into that, because now we talk about overwhelm as if it's a thing instead of overwhelm as a verb, which is what it really is.

Overwhelm is a verb and I'm actually going to define it for you. It says overwhelm is defeat completely or give too much of a thing to someone in inundate, you know, too much, right. Bury or drown beneath a huge mass. You know, those are the, that's what it is. It's a, it's a verb. It's overwhelming. It's overwhelming.

You're overwhelmed. It's not a noun, but we've turned it into a noun. We've made it. This thing that feels overbearing, we've sort of personified it in a way. Um, almost made it like a person or a monster or something like. And so what I want us to recognize is that the actual idea that there's just one thing that we can call overwhelm is the illusion, because there's no one thing that overwhelms us all.

And there's no one thing that overwhelms us all the time. It's the field. That there's too much to handle. It's the feeling that we have, but the truth is that overwhelm changes over time. And I've told this story before, I'm going to tell it again, because it's really important. And this is how I started to recognize in myself how overwhelm the idea of personifying overwhelm was really an illusion to me.

Um, was that no matter what stage of my life I looked at, I always said I was over with. You know, it didn't matter what was happening in my life. I always claimed I was overwhelmed. I was claimed there was too much to do so back in high school, you know, I was on the swim team. I had friends that boyfriend at different times, I had a part-time job that I might've worked.

And I took classes, you know, obviously I was in school and I would say how overwhelmed I was by all of that. Okay. Because it was a lot to do again, the feeling was valid. The feeling was like, this is a lot to do. There's a lot of expectation. I don't want to disappoint people, all these things. And so I was overwhelmed.

Uh, but then flash forward to college. Now, all of a sudden my life is different. I now have in many cases, more responsibility on my shoulders. I'm working more so that I can make more money. I'm taking college classes, which were much harder than high school classes. Um, I'm having to contend with a car that keeps breaking down that I have to put oil in all the time.

I have to make more money so I can pay for these things. There's so much more to conduct. Also overwhelmed flash forward to I'm out of college. And I start my own business and I'm pregnant. And I had my first child, well, still lots to do. It's different. And now again, I have even more responsibility, more on my shoulders, more personal responsibility for myself, my home I'm, you know, I have a husband, I have a kid now I have a business.

Still overwhelmed and then you're getting the point, right? I don't have to keep going. I then have another kid. And then I started another business. The point being that at every single stage I was overwhelmed, but the truth was I couldn't pinpoint what overwhelmed me. What overwhelmed me really was the expectation that I had to do with.

That is what overwhelmed me overwhelm itself. Wasn't really a thing. It wasn't tangible. I couldn't put my finger on it. It was just. There was too much to do. And the expectation that I had to do it all, not only that I had to do it all, but that I had to do it all seamlessly, that I had to do it all perfectly, that I had to be in control of everything all the time.

And so that's where my, my ID. That overwhelm can be an illusion came from it. Wasn't, um, it wasn't a way to invalidate my own feelings or to invalidate the feelings of anyone here. It was instead, actually it was really freeing for me. And I encourage you to see it as a freeing thing because now all of a sudden.

It's not this thing that I have to fight against. It's an emotion and it's a feeling that I can work through and I can also go back, which we're going to do in a minute. I have a series of questions that are kind of going to blow your mind. I think. We have to go back and look at where does it come from?

Because what overwhelms me is not something that overwhelms somebody else. Right? We all know this in motherhood, you know, it's like you see someone that just seems to be able to seamlessly do something. And you're like, how are they not overwhelmed by their life? But you are. And vice versa. Like maybe there's something that you do sort of seamlessly.

And it's just, I dunno, it's pretty easy. And you just have a routine. And a rhythm and a cadence to something. And someone else was like, how does she manage to do it all? It's because what overwhelms one does not overwhelm another. And again, that's what makes it so different from person to person. And it's also what really hurts us the most is because we're always looking at what doesn't overwhelm somebody else.

How can they do it? Because that, and just that phrase right there do it all is at the crux of overwhelm. This belief that you have to do it all all the time and do it perfectly, do it seamlessly. Do it well, do it without any stumbles or challenges or anything, we're just supposed to do it and get it done.

And so what if instead we looked at, instead of saying, how can I get started when everything feels overwhelming? How well we start to add. Why am I overwhelmed in the first place? What got me here? Why, why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like I am the one that has to do it all all the time now let's just be very honest here that sometimes it's a matter of survival mode.

You know, there are times in our lives, everybody, especially. When you have kids that there are just time seasons moments of survival mode, where you're just trying to get through the day. Okay. And you're just trying to get through those, those moments without breaking, and you're just trying to survive.

And there are circumstances and situations outside of our control, you know, that that really caused us to be overwhelmed. Those are not in our control. And so it's not that there's so much to do. And you feel you need to do it all. Sometimes it's a matter of, there's just a lot of stuff to do. We're not necessarily talking about survival mode and I'd also really encourage you.

I think we're going to do a future episode where we talk more about survival mode. I've done previous episodes on it, but I want to dive in a little bit more because I think oftentimes we think we're in survival. But we're actually not. And what's happening is we're tricking ourselves into thinking that we're in survival mode, um, as a way to protect ourselves from growing.

It's like, well, I just, I can't, I'm in survival mode right now, but really it's kind of like, I look at it like this, if you were, if you're trying to survive in a body of water, like the ocean and you feel like you're drowning, but there's like a life jacket sitting right next to you. And you're like, oh, I didn't even know there was a life jacket there.

I was too busy flailing to even realize there was a life jacket here. Oh, okay, cool. I can put this on. Oh. And now that I have a life jacket on and I can breathe a little bit more, you know what else? There's a little rowboat next to me. Didn't even notice it because I was too busy flailing and then too busy floating.

And I didn't even realize that's what we want to get to is the point where we realize maybe I'm not in survival mode. Maybe I just think that I am, because my ego hasn't convinced me of that, but that's a separate thing. Well in itself right there. So what I saw, because I speak from experience, you know, these things I talk about, I don't talk about them.

Um, without speaking, from experience, most things I talk about I've experienced in my life. I don't like to talk about things if I haven't, because it's really difficult for me to give advice or guidance or encouragement or help on something. And I've never experienced. And also it's really obnoxious when somebody gives you advice on something and they're like, I mean, I've never gone through it, but I think this is what you should do now.

I want to help you through what I've gone through as well. That feeling of overwhelming, we can trace back many times to misaligned priority. And committing to too much at once. That's oftentimes what it is, it's misaligned priorities. It's I say that these things are important over here, but I'm focusing my attention on these things over here.

And so when those, when, what you say is your priority is not lining up to what you're doing and over committing yourself to things, whether it's in your home, in your job, in your business with relationships, Not setting boundaries, what, whatever it is, it's this idea of misaligned priorities and committing to too much at once.

So this feeling of where do I start? Because it feels overwhelming. The first thing we have to look at really is what are my priorities? What do I prioritize at this season? What do I priorities prioritize today? Even if we don't have the time or the energy or the bandwidth to look at our life priorities and how they fit in.

You know, to, to the greater part of our life. What about just today? What am I prioritizing today? Because if I'm say I prioritize one thing, then I really don't need to focus on the things that aren't part of that priority. So there's almost no reason to be overwhelmed or. Now again, that does not mean that we guilt ourselves for feeling overwhelmed or that we start to say, oh my gosh.

See, I can't believe that I was overwhelmed. None of us know this and in the moment, those feelings are so real that it's hard to get out of that. But if we can just ask ourselves the question, what is my priority right now in this season, or in this day, it can start to help. We also have to notice how we react in the face of being overwhelmed because all of us are different.

Mine is avoidance. Yep. That's mine. And I know many of you can relate. It's like, I'll just avoid, you know, I'll avoid and I will distract myself. It's avoidance and distraction. I'll distract myself with something else that is not important to avoid the thing that feels overwhelming. 'cause, I don't want to sift through what is actually important to me.

I don't want to do that work. So I avoid and distracts some of us shut down or procrastinate or overly worry or over plan. That's another part is like, well, I'm overwhelmed. So you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to spend the next two weeks planning, planning, planning, planning, planning, and then we get to the two weeks is up and we've planned.

And then we're like, Ugh. It's still not good enough though. I'm going to keep planning and we don't actually do anything, um, or freak out, right. Or get angry or, or feel guilty or go down a rabbit hole of shame. We all react to that feeling differently. And we have to honor that and understand how we all react differently.

And so ask yourself, how do I react in the face of that so that we can acknowledge that when we know what our personal reactions are. We can work through them easier without the guilt and shame. But so many of us are used to stuffing that down. We're used to stuffing all of those things down and shaming ourselves for it and feeling guilty about it.

So I have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 elements, like six questions that I want. I want you to ask yourself. When it comes to being overwhelmed and these are probably going to be very mind blowing. So I w this is a podcast. You can pause it, pause it at any time, go back to it at any time. Um, so maybe give yourself some time to listen to these and listen to me, explain them, and then come back and ask yourself these questions, write them down and, and give yourself some time to think about it because they are so mind blowing.

When we start to recognize, like, is this really overwhelming or is this something else? Am I overwhelmed or have I been conditioned to believe I'm supposed to be able to do it all at once? Okay. I'm going to repeat that. Am I overwhelmed? Or have I just been conditioned to believe I'm supposed to be able to do all of this at once because truthfully that's really what a lot of this overwhelming is.

It's conditioning that I'm supposed to be able to do all of this. That doesn't make it true. Some being conditioned being, I will even say indoctrinated, I'm being told over and over establishing that belief system doesn't make it true. Uh, there's many things that many of us believe about ourselves, even about the world that aren't necessarily true.

They're just a part of our beliefs. So we have to ask, am I really overwhelmed and don't know where to start? Or have I just been conditioned to believe I'm supposed to do all of this all at once? Am I overwhelmed or have I over obligated myself? You know, now I want to be clear. It could be both. It's like, yes, I'm overwhelmed.

The point is, yeah, this is, this is a little cheeky. It's a little supposed to be. It's supposed to be a little bold in this. It's like, is it really this? Or is it that, am I overwhelmed? Or have I over obligated? We over obligate ourselves to other people all the time and, and to ourselves, honestly. And so if we're overwhelmed, it's like, yeah, but have I over obligated myself?

So I feel like there's too much to do, but in reality, it doesn't actually align with my priorities. I've just over obligated myself to stuff that I don't need to be doing. Am I overwhelmed or am I trying to please people? Am I a people pleaser? Am I really overwhelmed again? Or am I just trying to please?

Am I overwhelmed or am I trying not to disappoint other people big one with women? Big as Vivian from pretty woman was saying big, huge. That is a huge one. Am I overwhelmed? Or am I trying not to disappoint people? Because that feeling comes up when you're trying so hard to do it all right. And do it all perfectly and get it all done and not.

Other people could be our family, friends, spouse, partners, kids, you know, our former selves, our boss, our best friend, our neighbor, someone at school. So am I really, am, am I actually truly overwhelmed by this stuff? Or is it that I'm trying to do so much to not disappoint other people? Am I overwhelmed or am I trying to meet expectations?

I never agreed. Big one, just because someone has expectations of you doesn't mean you're obligated to meet them. That's on them. Their expectations of you are on them. Just like your expectations of other people are on you. They are not obligated to me. Expectations. They never agreed to it's like forcing someone to uphold a contract that you created for them that they never signed.

Right. It would be like if someone came to my house and said, Hey, You owe us money for this house, for this house somewhere. And I'm like, I don't own that house. And they're like, I know, but we wanted you to buy the house. And so, uh, we, you know, put up this contract and we, uh, we created this contract and now you owe us money for this house.

And it's like, I didn't sign that contract. I know, but I had the expectation that. Well, that's not my problem. And so what we do in life is we do this to other people and we let other people do this to us, unbeknownst to us many times a lot of this is unconscious. And so we have to ask, am I really overwhelmed?

Or am I just trying to meet expectations? I never agreed to in the first. Am I overwhelmed or am I craving having control over everything? I'm sorry, but that one is so big. And like, I'm not even going to apologize, not, sorry, not sorry, moms out there. We have control issues out the wazoo. And so a lot of times when we are overwhelmed by all the things we think we need to do, it's because we're trying to have control over everything.

We want the proverbial cake and eat it. I want everyone to help me. I want help. No one helps me. My spouse, my husband, my partner, my kids everyone's lazy. No one helps me, but at the same time we refuse the help. We don't allow people to help us. We want control over everything. We crave control over everything we're used to having control over everything.

So we overwhelm ourselves. We create an atmosphere of overwhelm for ourselves because we are craving having control. And then we call it overwhelmed. I'm just overwhelmed by everything. I have someone. Right now in my head that I can think of that is constantly talking about over how overwhelmed she is.

And I'm sure she has again, feeling valid, always, but then you look at her actions and it's like, no one helps me. I have to do everything myself. But then when someone asks to help her, it's like, you don't do it right. Anyway, you don't even do it. You had said I have to do everything myself. Well, we have to pick it up.

That's a conversation about martyrdom, which we have talked about on this podcast before. So asking, am I overwhelmed or am I just con craving control over everything? Okay. Those questions right. There are so important to just to start to starting this. Okay. Just starting this conversation with your. And then saying, what is my priority in this moment or in this season, if you want to go a little bigger, you can say in this season, but in this moment, if you're overwhelmed, because we're talking about starting, when it feels overwhelming, great in this moment, what is my priority?

If you looked again, if you looked at a messy room, you know, and you're just like, oh my gosh, it's so much, I'm overwhelmed by all of it. You look at maybe a pile of photos that you want to put. To photo books, you want to put into photo albums and you're like, oh my gosh, this is overwhelming, right? There's just so much here.

If you want to get started, we have to ask yourself, well, what's the priority. The priority is to get all of these in this book, but we get to choose by when, see what happens is we say, well, I have to do it all. Okay. But do you have to do it all today? No, we get to choose when, unless it's something outside of our control and that's a different story.

But in this case, in many of these cases, we put those self-imposed expectations onto ourselves. No one else does it. No one sat down and said you are obligated to put all of these thousands of photos in these photos. Tonight. No, we do that to ourselves. So then that causes overwhelm for us, which then causes us to react in whatever way we react.

Maybe we overly plan procrastinate, avoid distract, however we do it. And then now what happens? The photos don't get put in, instead of saying what's my priority in this moment? Well, my priority in this moment is to spend the next 20 minutes doing this. Great. That's it? Well, my priority overall, my goal overall is to get these here.

In the next month. Awesome. So now we can just little by little work on it, but my priority in the moment is just to do 20 minutes of this, because I know if I do 20 minutes, then it's better than zero minutes. Right. And then what would help me feel better right now? We just don't ask ourselves that enough.

We don't ask as moms. We just don't ask what would feel good for me? What would make me feel better right now? Just to get maybe just to get a little bit done of something. Would it feel better to see a little bit of progress. Great. Then do that thing. So here are three things that you can do right now.

If you're feeling very overwhelmed in a situation and you want to get started, number one, breathe yet. Another thing we don't do enough of really breathe. Obviously we're breathing all day unconscious. We don't even recognize it's completely involuntary. Thank you body. But I'm talking about the conscious breathing, the really.

Deep breath that we give ourself the honoring of our body and our nervous system. And recognizing when we're in that fight or flight moment and saying, I can breathe. I feel myself. I feel my feet on the ground. I feel my hands. I'm just going to. The next thing that I'm a huge fan of when we're overwhelmed by anything is do a brain dump, just brain dump, everything out.

Lot of times, what is most overwhelming is what is going on in our head that we don't actually get out. We're S it's like, it's swimming around in there and we need to get it out and just put it somewhere where we can see it visually, because not everything that we think of in our head is something we're actually going to do.

It's just swimming around in there and it's creating. This muck and this, this like soup of stuff and it's, it's really murky. And so we have to get it out to go, oh, you know what? I have this down. And I don't know, like a week later I'm looking at it. I don't even care about that. You know, check it off, erase it, uh, put a line through it.

Um, but doing that brain dump is such a huge way to just get it all out. And then my favorite thing to do, put a timer on for five minutes and get. Obviously it can be longer, but I just love the five minute timer, put it on for five minutes and do something because that five minutes is going to create momentum for you.

It's going to help you feel less overwhelmed. Is it going to solve everything? Probably not. Those feelings are going to be there and it's going to take a long time to work through them, but at least it's getting started. Right. We are always trying to not feel how we feel instead of recognizing the feelings for what they are and what they can teach us.

And so what I really want to leave you with. Feel the feelings feel the overwhelm and work through those feelings. Instead of trying to say, I just never want to feel overwhelmed again. That's probably not going to happen. It's probably not going to happen that there's never a good, really never going to be a time where there's like just the right amount of things to do for your season, for your particular, uh, emotions that day for your mood.

That day overwhelmed. Is going to happen and we just have to honor it for what it is. And I look at it, like, I just don't want to be chronically overwhelmed. I'm working through the chronic, that overwhelm as my default. I don't want it to be my default. I want peace and structure and happiness and joy and all those things to be my default and overwhelming as something that happens that I can work through.

Okay. Whew. That was a lot. That was a lot for a, for an episode. It's very deep again. I would go back and listen to this afterward, take some notes, breathe through it. And then do some of the things that we talked about in here, especially around prioritizing putting a timer on getting to work, but most importantly, asking yourself, why am I overwhelmed in the first place?

Like, where is it coming from? Because it's going to be different for all of us. Now, as I mentioned, this is something huge, um, that we discuss inside homemaker issue, which is my signature home management program that helps moms in every single season, create a home that's manageable and I life that's uncomplicated and you can get all the information at homemaker ish.

The letter u.com. Now here's something big that I am announcing today. Uh, we are closing homemaker issue after this week. So if you're listening live great, if you're not listening live, um, then you may have to get on the wait list. We're actually closing it until March of 2022, but like late March of 2022, so awhile.

Um, and the reason for that is like I said, we are completely revamping it. So I'm going to be, um, completely rerecording everything. And re-imagining it and adding things. I mean, it is. We're going to talk about it all when it happens, but wow. The, the amount of value that our students are going to get, because you get lifetime access to it in these updates is incredible.

And so we're doing kind of a last, you know, a last ditch, if you want to get in, get in for this price right now, because it will not be this price. When we open it back up in March of 2020. Especially with all of the updates and upgrades that we're making. And so coming in now, I know the question is like, well, why would I join now?

If you're going to, like, I'm going to go through the lessons, you're going to revamp it. Know the basic sentiment of everything inside homemaker. She was the same. We're not changing, uh, our mission or anything. So you can join. Start listening to all of the lessons and get started. And then what a lot of our students do, even when we don't update it is they come back six months later and go through the lessons again, because guess what?

Their season has changed. And our students, especially those that have been in since 2016, when we opened it for the first time. I love the updates because what it does is it forces them to kind of go through it again and get a refresher on it. So you're getting the best of both worlds. You're getting all of this right now when you join, which means you can get a jumpstart on all of this and go into the new year.

With, uh, routines that work for you and your family, and a complete mindset shift and help with everything from meal planning, to cleaning, to time management and schedules and goals. All of that, you can get started with that. And then. Do our huge relaunch and completely update everything. You get access to that it's lifetime access.

You don't pay for the updates. You're going to get everything lifetime, which is incredible. We have so much to add next year. Can't wait for that. But this is the last time we're going to be closing the doors so that we can really. Focus our attention on the remodel as I'm calling it, which is all going to happen in February of 2022.

So you're not going to see any of those things. If you join right now, we're doing it on the backend and then we'll do one week. We'll just update everything and send out emails and let you guys know it's going to be great. Um, but we're just closing it down now so we can focus all of our attention on the backend and not marketing and, and all of that stuff.

If this sounds like the thing for you, if you've been on the fence for a while, this is absolutely the time to join, uh, before we close the doors because you won't be able to join until March of next year. Um, and I don't want you to have to wait. homemakerishu.com

Um, we have a video walkthrough there. We have every everything there that you need to figure out if it's the right thing for you. And, uh, that's how you can come in and join us before the doors closed. This has been a fantastic episode. I am a really happy with this. I might go listen to this myself later on, because there are areas where I am feeling a little bit of this overwhelming, and I, it is time for me to take my own advice.

I appreciate all of you for listening and sharing your thoughts with me on Instagram and sharing these episodes out. I'm just so grateful to all of you for sharing this out with your friends and your family and your audiences. It really just, it does my heart so happy to know that we're reaching people all over the world and we're reaching new people every single day.

So thank you for that. Thank you for leaving your amazing five-star reviews. Those are so important. I just love you and adore all of you so much, even if we don't know each other, just know that from afar, I adore you and I'm so thankful for you. So have a wonderful week and as always go forth and mother like a boss.

Ep 279: How a "domino area" will save you time every day

What if I told you that you could get more done without having to do more? "Sure, and maybe I could ride my magical unicorn to space while I'm at it."

It's possible and easier than you think. We're a little obsessed with productivity in our society, but the key to getting more done is creating momentum and prioritizing the order in which you do things. Having a domino area in your routines is how you accomplish both of those things.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

• What a “domino area” is

• The problem with traditional time blocking

• How this simple hack can save you hours of time and lots of energy

More value comin’ atcha. Check out these resources:

• Mom life makes staying consistent with your routines and habits 10X harder than it needs to be. Let’s fix that and get (and stay) consistent, zero perfection necessary. Download your free consistency tracker and mini-training here.

• Looking for a podcast episode on a specific topic? We’ve made it simple. Check out the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast Directory here and find the episodes you’re looking for organized by topic.

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If you loved this episode as much as I loved sharing it, there is more where that came from.

• Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out. And I would just loooove if you would leave a review and rating. It's a little thing that makes a big difference and helps me to continue to bring super valuable content and fabulous guests.

• Have a topic you want me to cover on the podcast? Submit them to us here. This show is all for you, mama. Let's talk about the things you most want to hear about.

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Whether you're looking to create more than just an organized command center for your family, or you're ready to make this year that you finally get your ish together, I've got you covered.

Homemakerish U is a modern solution for creating a home that’s manageable and a life that’s uncomplicated for any mom, in every season.

Join over 3500+ other moms who have taken control of their lives and homes by stepping up to become #homemakerish

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hey there, mama. All right. Before we jump into this episode, I want to talk about the struggle that I hear the most about. No, it's not homemaking. No, it's not cleaning the bathroom. No, it's not teaching kids how to do chores. You know what it is? Consistency.

Nothing feels more difficult than wanting to start a new habit, especially in the new year, get things going, going all in and then not sticking with. Here's the thing I struggled with consistency for years, I didn't even realize that I struggled with consistency. I thought that I was the problem. I thought that I was broken.

I thought that I just couldn't handle new habits and that I couldn't be successful. But what I realized is, is it's because I was looking at it all wrong. We've been sold this idea that we need to have tons of self discipline and motivation for years, we've been told that, but motherhood is just. And it's not that we lack self-discipline, it's not that we lack motivation it's that we really lack the understanding of what consistency really is.

And we don't understand how to track ourselves. So that is exactly why in 2021, I've created a free. It's called let's get consistent tracker. And again, it's totally free. So you can download it@motherlikeaboss.com forward slash get consistent. So in this simple guide, I'm going to walk you through what I call the consistency core four, and you're going to get a simple tracker that goes along with it.

You'll even get a bonus video immediately that walks you through the entire tracker and guide. I'm giving you some big tips to get started as well in that. Even if you're a perfectionist. So even if you've ever said, like, I need to know all the stuff I can't get started today. I need to wait until Monday.

I'm looking at you. All of my perfectionist mamas out there. I've made this so simple that you can go to mother like boss.com forward slash get consistent. You can sign up, download it. Get started. Track your progress and get some of that time back because that's the thing. Inconsistency is a time-waster every time you have to start over, we are wasting time.

And I spent years doing that. I don't want that for you. I want this to be the year that you stay consistent and keep those micro promises to yourself. Okay. So again, mother, like a boss.com forward slash get consistent. It's completely free. So head over there, right after this podcast, where maybe you just pause this right now, go over there.

Download. Print it out if you'd like to, and then come back and listen to this episode. Okay. So again, let's get consistent tracker. Let's do this in the new year mother, like a boss.com forward slash get consistent. All right. Let's get into the episode. Well, Hey there friends. Welcome back to another episode of the mother.

Like a boss podcast. It's your host here again? Kendra Hennessy as if it would be anyone else say that at the beginning of every episode, because I know we have new listeners, but really who else would it be? We don't have any. So, hello again, thank you for being here, whether you've been listening for a long time or a brand new, I appreciate you being here so much, so let's get right into it.

As we do every episode, we do not spend a whole lot of time with extra chit-chat because your time is valuable. My time is valuable. Let's get into it. We are going to talk about the domino area today, a domino task, a domino routine, and how it can save you time in your. And if you started listening to this, because you were wondering what the heck does the domino area mean?

What does the domino task, what is the domino routine? We are going to talk all about that. This is one of my favorite concepts. When I teach routines to my students. Um, I talk about this a lot in my course homemaker issue, which. All the details on that. You can go to homemaker, Rish, ew.com. That's homemaker.

It's the letter u.com. Uh, we talk about it a lot in there. I've discussed it in workshops that I've done. I've talked about it on Instagram, and I realized I have never actually done a podcast episode on this. So that's why we're doing it. It's really one of my favorite concepts about routines, because it's something that is so highly overlooked.

When we think about creating routines. Our minds immediately go to the, the mechanism by which we are going to keep track of our routines. Many of us don't think of our routines as being something that isn't necessarily testing. We don't think about how we're going to get those things done each day, how we're going to be more consistent, how we're going to set our environment up for success.

We tend to think of the mechanism. That's why things like charts are so popular. It's why things like planners are so popular. It's why if you go on Pinterest right now in search, you know, the best morning routine for a working mom, you're going to get like 90 billion results and you're going to get charts and check.

And, you know, you're going to get everyone giving you the blog post to tell you about their perfect routine. That's what we often think of with routines. What I like to do is instead think of how am I going to actually get this done? How is my routine saving me time? Because if my routine isn't saving me time, what's.

If my routine is not saving me energy, what's the point. If my routine is not fitting into my life and making my life run more smoothly again, I ask what is the point? And so while the mechanism by which we get things done, having a chart, put a note up on your fridge somewhere, having. A whiteboard or a chalkboard or a Trello board on your, uh, on your phone or something in your mudroom, that all those are great.

They're wonderful. I could talk forever about those, a calendar, a planner. We love them, but they're just tools. They're not actually going to help you. If you don't know how you're going to get these things done. If we're not creating momentum, if we're sitting around waiting to be motivated every day to do things.

And stuff's not going to get done because I hate to tell you, but you're never going to be motivated to do crap. You don't want to do, none of us are. That's why we're all about momentum over motivation here. So the idea of having a, a domino area is one that helps us to create more momentum in our life, because if you, so let's get into what the domino is.

If you know what Domino's are and you've ever played with them. I used to love them as a kid. I used to love actually I loved playing Domino's there's actually Domino's is a game that you play. And I learned how to play it when I was like 12. I always thought Domino's were just something you set up and into these like cool patterns and the knock down.

I thought that's what they were. I didn't know. You could actually play games with them, you know, with the dots on them that are. I never knew that until I was about 12 or so learned how to play it. It was lots of fun, but really how I love to play dominoes. And even to this day with my kids is you set them up and align and you zigzag them.

And it's this great fun to see how long you can get, how elaborate you can make it. And then you do what you knock over the first domino. And then because of momentum than one domino domino knocks over the next, which knocks over the next and so on. And now we all know how that works. So when we think about it in our life, the domino area task routine, we're going to talk about how all of those words can fit together.

I'm just saying domino area, um, w how that works in our routine is that it's the. The thing that's going to knock over the most other things for you. Okay. It's like, what could I do that is going to knock over the most other things for me so that I don't have to expend as much of my energy or so that I create a lot of momentum for myself.

So there is a really great book called the one thing by Gary Keller. I believe that you can look up, it's a great book. And he talks about this in the sense of like creating your goals, um, where it's this idea of what is the one thing you could do? That thereby doing it would make all these other things like you wouldn't need to do them.

Okay. Uh, Shalene Johnson talks about it with goals. Again, it's the push goal. It's like, what is the goal you could have that would push all of the rest of them over? Um, lots of people I've heard talk about it in many different ways when it comes to many different things, I am a visual person. And so when.

Was first starting to create my, uh, all of my curriculum and what I taught to students when it came to routines, the idea of the domino was what stuck out to me because that's how I perceive things in my own life. I have looked, especially as a mom at how can I say. One thing really well, that's going to knock over everything else and get things done faster or easier or more efficient, uh, kind of like they talk about in the one thing and push goals and all that.

But when it comes to routines, so that each day. I'm getting things done without having to do more work. Many of us again are creating routines based on what we think needs to get done, but we're not actually giving much thought to how much time and energy we're spending doing. And we're ending up doing like more work than we need to.

So the whole purpose of the domino is to say, what could I do? That's going to actually help me to get more done. Um, because you know, routines are also what I've seen a lot of teaching around routines doing is that it's teaching people. Here's how to squeeze everything into time blocks. Like here's how to take everything you need to do in squeeze it into less time, but that's not actually helping any of us because as I've talked about on the podcast, actually just a few weeks ago, you can go back and listen.

There is a difference between time and energy. And just because you have the time doesn't mean you have the energy and what the domino takes into account is it takes into account. Your, uh, specific season, you know, where you are in your life right now, what is realistic for you? It also takes into account your energy, because what we're trying to do is do one thing.

That's going to make other things much easier for us. And don't worry because I do have examples. So if this all feels very theoretical to you, I get it. And I'm going to give you some examples in just a minute, but instead what, yeah. Instead of this idea of time blocking, which is still. And still great.

The domino instead says, how can I create that momentum and not sit around waiting for motivation. So I'm going to give you some examples. The great thing about this is that it can be a task that you. It can be an area of your life that you focus on. It can be an area of your home that you focus on. It can be a small routine that leads to other routines.

There's really no end to what your domino can be and what I really encourage you to do. Is sit with this idea after you listen to this episode, sit with this idea and brainstorm out, and maybe even come back to this episode later, if you need to, I'm going to make this episode shorter. Um, I'm just going to talk for a few more minutes and then I want you to actually go out and do some brainstorming and, and do some thinking about it and maybe come back to it if you need to.

But the one piece of advice I want to give you is to not get too precious about this. Don't overthink this idea. The whole point is to save yourself time and energy. It's not distant around and go, what is the perfect domino that defeats the purpose? We want to just find something that's going to create momentum and it's going to be different for every person.

Okay. So for example, taking a shower in the morning is my domino. It's one of mine. I have different ones that happen at different times of the day or the week or the season, depending on. I'm uh, what other Domino's I'm trying to knock over in my life, but taking a shower in the morning for me is a huge domino because when I take a shower, I'm this again, this is speaking for me.

Everyone is going to be different. When I take a shower in the. Once I take a shower, I'm like, well, I already took shower. I might as well get dressed. Well, I'm dressed. I mean, I'm going to do my hair. I'm getting, you know, I washed my hair. I'm going to blow dry it. Okay. I'm going to do it. I'll throw in a little bit of makeup depending on the day.

Some days I'm like, mm, no, no makeup for me, but you know, I'm, I I'm getting myself ready, which when I get ready, I feel more prepared to do work. I don't feel like I just want to sit on the couch and lounge. I don't feel like I just want to scroll. I'm like ready to do work. Even if I'm still in my PJP. I still am ready to like, do some work.

I also, because I have a business, I am more likely to show up on camera because now I'm actually like made, made up somewhat, even if it's just in a small way. It's I, I'm not just sitting in like last night's makeup because I forgot to actually take off my makeup and I don't have a messy bun. Not that there's anything wrong with any of those things by the way, but I feel more prepared to get things done.

So now just by doing this one, Taking the shower I have now been able to get more done. It's knocked over the other dominoes for me because now I've created momentum for myself. Instead of now here's the. When I don't take a shower in the morning, I noticed there, there is a noticeable difference in the amount of productivity.

I feel the amount of energy that I have. So I know for myself that taking a shower in the morning is that domino. Now here's the great thing. Someone else's domino may be the exact opposite and it may be taking a shower at night because maybe you have very young kids. And, you know, if you just take a shower, Put your hair in a braid.

You don't even blow dry. It you're just like, I just put my hair in a braid. I take my shower, I wash my face. I get all spoliated. I do what I need to do. Maybe you also have more time at night to take a shower. So you do it right before bed, and then you braid your hair and you'd go to bed. And that actually creates a domino in the morning because now you don't have to take a shower.

And so now you get to get up and get going. And now all of a sudden you get more done in the morning, just from that domino. See two different things, same concept. There is no one domino thing out there. We all have to decide what it is for us. Another one of mine is cleaning the kitchen at night when I have a clean kitchen.

I feel the next morning that I am set up with more success, because again, I've done it the other way. I've said. Hmm, no, just wait until tomorrow. You know, tomorrow, tomorrow morning, Kendra is going to want to do this way more. Uh, guess what? Tomorrow, when tomorrow morning, Kendra, not only doesn't want to do it, but she's mad at last night, Kendra, but like not doing it and now I'm behind already.

So even if it only takes me a few minutes to do something in the morning, If I do it the night before, my energy level is different and this is what we have to take into account about routines. This isn't just about time on a clock. It's about the energy you have for something. And when I do it at night, domino knocks over the next day, Domino's Domino's, I feel momentum.

I feel like, Hmm, I'm already set up for success for myself. And this feels really good. For some people, it also may be an entire evening routine that sets you up for the morning. Maybe you just have like a 10 to 15 minute nighttime routine. Yeah, cleaning up the kitchen. Maybe your kids get their stuff ready for the next day.

That's all stuff we do as well, but it's not just me doing it. You know, my kids, like we're, we're a team in our home and everybody has a job that they need to do. And so being able to do that sets us up. For success the next day, Domino's over throwing laundry. And before the day starts, I've noticed that's another one for me, not every single day, but many days.

And that's something I've had students say as well. Is that just the act of putting laundry in right when they wake up is a domino for them, because now all of a sudden they're a ahead. They feel like they're. Okay. Having a space for things in the mudroom or the entryway here is a great example of it.

Not necessarily being a task, it's a system, a domino could be a system. It could be something that you have set up in or something that's organized in a specific way, because if you have a space for things in the mudroom, here's where that domino kind of knocks things over. If I have a place for everything and we have hooks and we have gotten into the habit and I've shown my kids.

This is where stuff goes. And we get into that habit. Now, all of a sudden stuff doesn't end up in the rest of the house. It doesn't end up cluttering up the rest of the house, which means that. It's easier to find things. It's easier to find our shoes when we need them, because we know where they are. It's actually knocking over the domino of, um, not having to take as much time to find things when we need them.

Okay. So it's like, it's like a proactive domino. We're being more proactive about it. Um, this is another really great one that I talk about when it comes to meal planning, where people will say that they want to get in a better meal planning routine, because they want to sit down to dinner together. They don't want to have.

The five o'clock, you know, running around, trying to figure out what's for dinner. They also just want to be able to interact as a family and sit down together and converse and have family time. But the thing that's actually holding them back is not the meal plan. They're they're fine. With meal planning, they plan out the meals.

It's that the dining room table is never clear. It's always cluttered up with stuff. Well, then the domino isn't necessarily getting your meals planned. The domino is. Clearing off the table having a routine for clearing off the table or keeping it clear, or maybe it's that you have to backtrack even further and say, well, the stuff is on the table because there is no other place for it.

Great. The domino could be having a home for all the stuff that ends up on the dining room table, but we don't think that. We ended up thinking the real problem is that I just can't get my ish together when it comes to meal planning, you know, I just can't get it together. I don't have a place to organize.

I never know what we're going to eat. So then they spend their time doing that and they're like, I still can't get it together. Why it's because of. The actual domino was not the meal plan itself. That was just, that's just a routine they're getting into the domino. That's going to help is having the table cleared off.

And if we backtrack even further, maybe it's heavily. A place for everything so that it doesn't end up on the table. Right. Or maybe it's having a five minute sprint before dinner time. Like, Hey, everybody dining room table is, you know, a mess and you know what time it is? It's five o'clock and we're doing our five minutes sprint while mom's finishing dinner or dad's finishing dinner and.

Uh, everybody grabs something and we go put it away. That could be at two, but that's the domino. That's going to knock everything else, not everything, but many other things over for you. And what it's doing is it saving you time and it's setting you up for success. And also creating momentum. So a domino really is a different way to approach your routines instead of looking at it, like, how can I get the most done with my time, ask how can I do the things that are going to make doing the other things much easier and take less of my time and my energy.

That's what this is all about. It's about creating momentum so that it works for you so that you don't have to sit around and waiting for motivation. So, as I said, a great thing to do is to just sit with this a little bit, write some things down. Brainstorm it out, taking a look at just one routine in your life.

Like maybe your mornings just getting out of the house on time. It's really difficult. Maybe look at what could be the domino. That's going to set you up for success. Maybe it's doing things the night before setting things out. Um, maybe it's setting up some kind of layered accountability for yourself, like putting the alarm clock on the other side of the room.

So you don't hit the snooze button. There could be something, a domino that's again, going to knock other things over for you and make it much easier. And if you have to relisten to this, that's okay too. We talk about this a lot. As I said, inside my signature program, Homemakerish U™ this is just one. Of an amazing module where we walk you through step-by-step how to create the routines for your life, how to maintain them, how to troubleshoot them when they're not working, no matter what season you're in. And even if your schedule is always changing. So, as I said, you can go to homemakerishu.com.

Thank you so much for listening. If you are enjoying these episodes, if you're getting a lot of value, I'd ask you, just please do to. One of two things, if you can't do both, it's totally okay. Share these out with your friends and your family. Send this to a friend that you think would really enjoy it.

That's how we reach more people with this podcast. And especially since it's free, like it doesn't cost anyone, anything to listen. So it's such a great resource to send out to your. Your momma friends out there. And then number two, leave us a review. We would love to get a five star rating and a review from you.

If you're really enjoying this podcast, this just means so much to us. Uh, especially again, as it being a completely free platform and something free for you. Um, you know, uh, myself and my team puts in a ton of effort behind the scenes and we just like to know. It's being well received. So that's something that you can do as just a thank you.

Um, if you feel so inclined here, it would just mean the world to me. I appreciate all of you listening. We are coming up on 300 episodes. We're going to be hitting 300 episodes zone and I just, that. To me. And it's all made possible because of you and your support and sharing, and just always being here and lifting me up so that I can encourage all of you as well.

Thank you again. And as always go forth and mother like a boss.

Ep 278: How to implement planning time into your schedule

Planning for the future can feel confusing, but planning to plan? That's just ridiculous, right? Wrong.

Implementing planning time into your schedule, even 10 minutes at a time can be the difference between living out your priorities and reaching your goals, and always feeling like your 10 steps behind. Planning time is how we stay proactive rather than reactive and it works for everyone. It today's episode, I'm giving you the low down on how to implement planning time into your schedule, even if you feel like you have no free time for it right now.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

• The difference between being proactive and reactive with your time.

• How to decide how often to implement “planning sessions” for your life.

• Simple steps to utilize your planning time wisely and end the stress of living in reactive mode.

More value comin’ atcha. Check out these resources:

• Mom life makes staying consistent with your routines and habits 10X harder than it needs to be. Let’s fix that and get (and stay) consistent, zero perfection necessary. Download your free consistency tracker and mini-training here.

• Looking for a podcast episode on a specific topic? We’ve made it simple. Check out the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast Directory here and find the episodes you’re looking for organized by topic.

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If you loved this episode as much as I loved sharing it, there is more where that came from.

• Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out. And I would just loooove if you would leave a review and rating. It's a little thing that makes a big difference and helps me to continue to bring super valuable content and fabulous guests.

• Have a topic you want me to cover on the podcast? Submit them to us here. This show is all for you, mama. Let's talk about the things you most want to hear about.

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Whether you're looking to create more than just an organized command center for your family, or you're ready to make this year that you finally get your ish together, I've got you covered.

Homemakerish U is a modern solution for creating a home that’s manageable and a life that’s uncomplicated for any mom, in every season.

Join over 3500+ other moms who have taken control of their lives and homes by stepping up to become #homemakerish

Ep 277: How to create your best mom year even when you don't know where to start!

Let's just name it and claim it: the last 18+ months has been anything but kind and gentle with us, especially in the motherhood community. Between lockdowns and health concerns and school being virtual, I've felt anything but my "best." Now, it's time to choose ourselves again, to get back to a place where we can set goals- even VISUALIZE our goals- again.

So where to start? I'm going to tell you how I'm doing it and invite you all to join me in our 2021 cohort of Your Best Mom Year because you deserve to have dreams again, mama and you deserve to have them come true. Big and small. They all matter here.

• Be sure to join the waitlist here for this next round of Your Best Mom Year Bootcamp 2021!

More value comin’ atcha. Check out these resources:

• Mom life makes staying consistent with your routines and habits 10X harder than it needs to be. Let’s fix that and get (and stay) consistent, zero perfection necessary. Download your free consistency tracker and mini-training here.

• Looking for a podcast episode on a specific topic? We’ve made it simple. Check out the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast Directory here and find the episodes you’re looking for organized by topic.

---

If you loved this episode as much as I loved sharing it, there is more where that came from.

• Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out. And I would just loooove if you would leave a review and rating. It's a little thing that makes a big difference and helps me to continue to bring super valuable content and fabulous guests.

• Have a topic you want me to cover on the podcast? Submit them to us here. This show is all for you, mama. Let's talk about the things you most want to hear about.

---

Whether you're looking to create more than just an organized command center for your family, or you're ready to make this year that you finally get your ish together, I've got you covered.

Homemakerish U is a modern solution for creating a home that’s manageable and a life that’s uncomplicated for any mom, in every season.

Join over 3500+ other moms who have taken control of their lives and homes by stepping up to become #homemakerish

Ep 276: Decluttering toys, crafts and kids' artwork

Feel like your house is bursting at the seams with toys, popsicle crafts and construction paper pictures? Tell me you have kids without telling me you have kids, right?

There is a lot of sentimentality that goes into decluttering things like this and it also feels never ending, so today let's talk about simple solutions to getting rid of things so you can make room for the wonderful memories you do want to keep.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

• The real reason decluttering toys is such a struggle.

• How to help your kids understand discernment with their stuff.

• Simple tips to make decluttering the toys and artwork easier.

More value comin’ atcha. Check out these resources:

• Mom life makes staying consistent with your routines and habits 10X harder than it needs to be. Let’s fix that and get (and stay) consistent, zero perfection necessary. Download your free consistency tracker and mini-training here.

• Looking for a podcast episode on a specific topic? We’ve made it simple. Check out the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast Directory here and find the episodes you’re looking for organized by topic.

---

If you loved this episode as much as I loved sharing it, there is more where that came from.

• Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out. And I would just loooove if you would leave a review and rating. It's a little thing that makes a big difference and helps me to continue to bring super valuable content and fabulous guests.

• Have a topic you want me to cover on the podcast? Submit them to us here. This show is all for you, mama. Let's talk about the things you most want to hear about.

---

Whether you're looking to create more than just an organized command center for your family, or you're ready to make this year that you finally get your ish together, I've got you covered.

Homemakerish U is a modern solution for creating a home that’s manageable and a life that’s uncomplicated for any mom, in every season.

Join over 3500+ other moms who have taken control of their lives and homes by stepping up to become #homemakerish

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Well, hello there, friends. Welcome back to the Mother Like a Boss podcast. It is your host again, Kendra Hennessy. So excited to have you here for another episode. Um, this week in the Hennessy house is a very, very fun one. It is the start of school and it is the start of in-person school for our family. It is the first time since March of 2020.

I'm so excited. Yeah, I'm really, really excited. Now I did a previous episode on how we are homeschooling our daughter. Who's going into high school. Talk all about that in a previous episode that you can go listen. Last episode or that it was maybe two episodes go. So really easy to find if you scroll back.

Um, but our son is going into third grade. He's going to school. He goes to public school and he is just so excited. Um, obviously March of 20, 20, they stopped going. They never went back that school. Yeah. And then last year, uh, we chose virtual for our kids, our district, still with in person for some people.

And then you could choose virtual if you want to do. We did just because for our schedules and kind of worrying about the quarantine procedures that could come up, it just seemed easier to have them virtual. Um, and it, to be quite honest, it was one of the hardest years of our life. And I know even for the people whose kids went into school, it was the hardest year of their life.

I think collectively it was just a very. Hard. That's the only word that I can use to describe it. You know, I know that there are more, um, I don't know, there are more descriptive words out there. There are bigger words and more beautiful words, but to be honest, the word hard is just how it felt and, um, how it continues to feel in a lot of ways, but I'm loving some of the normalcy that is coming back and my son is just.

Elated about going back to school. He is a people person that kid loves people and he loves being around people. He loves being around his friends. He loves interacting and he really was just meant to be in school. And so I'm really excited for him to start this week. I also get my schedule back because virtual school took a lot on the parents because it wasn't just like, like with homeschool.

You can choose your own curriculum and you also choose your own schedule with virtual schooling. We had to work on someone else's schedule, but we were also at home. And I've talked about that before. So I'm not going to get too far into that right now, but just to say, just all of those parents out there who are sending their kids back or have chosen after all of this to homeschool or have chosen a different route.

I just want to say, I see you. I hear you. And, you know, we truly are, um, this together in a, in a lot of ways, and I'm just happy that you're here. Speaking of that, uh, happy that you're here. All of my listeners, I know we have a lot of longtime listeners and we have people that are just starting. Like with this episode, maybe just found this episode.

If you have been listening. And have loved this podcast. Um, the, the thing that I would really love to ask as a favor to our other listeners and to me and to my team is to leave us a really kind review. That would be great. I don't ask for reviews very often. I don't think I've done that actually in like a year.

I don't think I've, I've asked for reviews. It's not something we do because to be honest, I'm not about vanity numbers and things like that. I'm about serving you. But when you leave us a really good review, it also helps other listeners that are just coming in to see them. Um, especially when, you know, on every single podcast out there, there's always some like nasty review there's trolls there's mean people, people just like mean reviews.

Like it's one thing to not like content, but to make comments about someone's view. Or something it's just nasty. And so, but we like to do is flood our reviews with the people that are enjoying it, because those that aren't enjoying it can just not listen anymore. I mean, it's free. No, one's forcing you to listen to this.

There's somebody else out there who may be talking about something that would be more enjoyable to you. Something I have started to do with every podcast that I listened to on a regular basis that I get, you know, free content from every single week that I get enjoyment and entertainment and education from is I always do my best to leave them a really great review just to let them know how thankful I am for them.

So something I'm trying to do a lot of is anything I'm consuming is to just pour into them and let them know that they're serving me. And also, I know that. Other people that are listening. So I would be honored if you would just take a minute. Really? It can take 60 seconds. It doesn't have to be long.

Just leave us a review. You know, if you feel called to leave us a five star, that would be awesome. Um, and we would just love to hear from you and how this podcast is helping you and your life. Okay. That is a longer intro than we usually have. We usually jump right in within the first 20 seconds, but sometimes I have other things to get to let's chat about today's topic, which is decluttering toys, crafts, and kids' artwork.

Whew. This is a very common question that I get. It's a common topic that comes up, especially inside my course homemaker issue. Um, and it's something that I've talked about for years. Uh, I will also say that as my kids have gotten older, some of my ideas, some of my methods have changed a little bit and that's good as we grow.

And as our kids grow, one of the things that. Loved in motherhood is being able to say, you know, what, what used to work for me is not working anymore. Or maybe the way that I used to do something I wouldn't necessarily do now, or I wouldn't tell someone else to do so let's jump in and just start talking about how to get started with decluttering, the toys and crafts and kids' artwork.

I picked those three things because those tend to be the three, like the trifecta. Of children's stuff, clothes. Yes. That's a big one, but I do find that people don't have as much trouble decluttering their kids' clothing as they do the things like toys and crafts and kids' artwork. So first let's talk about why this is so difficult to begin with, uh, why it feels difficult for these three things.

Well, number one, it's over. So even just talking about toys, decluttering, and going through and minimizing and donating and getting rid of, and whatever you want to call it, the toys that our kids have can be very overwhelming. Especially if we have more than one kid, just the sheer magnitude and volume of toys that kids have nowadays compared to even 20 years ago, 30 years ago and beyond it's.

There's a lot. There is so much more consumerism. That's a separate topic that I want to start talking about a little bit more, um, in the podcast, especially, but we have a consumerism problem and I'm talking, I live in the U S so I'm definitely talking about the U S I know people have it in other countries as well, but we, we really do have this like more is better mentality.

And the problem is that then we end up with more. And then it's overwhelming and it's taxing and it's exhausting. And so more is not better. More is burnout more is more. And what we do is we consume more stuff for the sake of more, and then people in our lives give us stuff and then they donate things.

And then we go to garage sales and we get more all because it's, it's less money because, oh, but I went to a garage sale. I had to buy that thing. It was only $5 instead of asking yourself. But even though it's only $5, do I even need it? Do my kids even need it? Are they going to play with it? Or am I just cluttering up their space to fill a void, to fill something, to make myself feel less guilty, which I am speaking from experience.

That is something that I think many parents do. Is, I don't want my kid to be the one that doesn't have these toys. I want to make sure that they have them. I want them to feel loved when truthfully the space that we create when we minimize the stuff, when we get rid of it is so much more beautiful. And create such a great space for kids to, to learn, to play and to learn, to be more creative and to, um, learn through pretend and just also create the space where there's not as much stress over the sheer amount of stuff.

So it's difficult because it's overwhelming. Let's just call it what it is. It is overwhelming for a lot of reasons. And one of which is just the sheer volume of stuff. It's also difficult because in many cases, not all I will say. I don't want to paint with too broad, a stroke kids want to keep every. And that often is just because children, um, don't really understand that.

Like if they're getting rid of something that they're not playing with that it's okay, because it's going to make more space for them to play with the things they do, kids just in general, if they have something, they kind of form attachments to them and they, they have this like attachment to their stuff and it feels really weird to then ask them to get rid of it.

And just by nature, kids tend to like it. Stuff again, not all children, but it can be difficult when kids want to keep everything. There's also the guilt over getting rid of things, the guilt over getting rid of toys that someone bought for you, or that you bought the guilt over spending money, and then having to get rid of something, the guilt over getting rid of something, and then your kids crying over it or being upset.

What if it was a gift that someone gave the guilt over, throwing away? Or, uh, I was going to say donating, but we're not going to donate, uh, our artwork, but, uh, recycling even, um, getting rid of artwork and doodles and things that your kids have done crafts that they've made that guilt over that. Oh, but they made it, I feel so bad.

So this feels difficult because there's a lot of guilt in that. And remember, as I say, All of these feelings are totally valid. Okay. We're not judging these feelings. We're just recognizing that this is what's a lot of times holding us back. It also feels like it never ends. This is a common problem when it comes to anything, home management and homemaking and decluttering and cleaning, it just feels like it never ends.

It feels like I just went through all this stuff and now if it doesn't even feel like I've made it. And the truth is that unless you declutter your house and then never bring another item into your house ever again, decluttering just like cleaning, just like showering is something that you're going to need to do on a routine basis.

And that's why it's so important to get into some kind of a routine. To let it be something that you do over time, instead of it just being a giant project that you think you're going to do, like painting the walls while just do it, and then it'll be done. And I won't have to paint ever again, unless I want to change the color.

That's not how decluttering is. And we need to change our mindset about that. It's kind of like changing our mindset around cleaning. It's the same idea I clean now because it needs to be clean. I know it's going to need to be cleaned later and I just get over it. And we need to just get over the fact that unless we're never bringing another item, ed, this is going to be something that we do on a regular basis.

But what is so great is that when we get started with it and we start to live a life where decluttering is just a part of what we do, when we don't need to live with all of our stuff all the time, then it gets much easier over time. It's kind of like what I say about cleaning. The more often you clean, the less you have to clean, that's the irony.

The more often you do it. The less time it actually takes the more, the less energy, the less physical and mental energy. Um, and the less work that it takes. It also feels like there's no time. That's another subject in and of itself. This idea that we never have enough time to do anything, but that's about priorities.

And so we have to look at reprioritizing that, yes, this is going to take time. So that's maybe not time that you're going and doing something else. That's not time that you're watching. That's not time that you're going to a party. That's not time that you're going to, you know, 50,000 activities on a weekend.

We have choice. We have to take personal agency over our time and our priorities and say, you know, if I want to do this, if I want to have my physical space, be. Uh, less cluttered, more minimized, less that I'm going to have to prioritize the time to actually do it because the time isn't going to find you, you're going to have to find the time you're going to have to make the time actually physically look at your schedule and make that time.

And then of course, really the true reason that decluttering, especially our kids stuff feels so difficult. Is just wondering what to keep and what to get rid of. That's the thing, a lot of people have trouble with this. I don't even know what to keep. I don't know what to get rid of. And I want to say something that I'm not sure I've ever talked about, which is that I think a lot of that comes down to this mistrust that we have in ourselves, because truly there is no rubric.

There's no template. There's no checklist. There's no sure. Fire lists that I can give you of. Here's how to know what to get rid of. And here's how to know what to keep. I can give you best practices. I can say, Hey, keeping broken toys is unsafe. We don't need to keep them. We can throw those away. But unless we're talking about things like that, there is no exact way to know because you're the only one that knows if you truly need to keep something or to get rid of it.

You're the only one that knows if you're truly using something or not. You're the only one that knows if those toys are something that you really want to keep, or that can be done. There is no surefire way that I can teach you. There's no practice. Anyone out there can teach you. There's only best practices.

And I think a lot of times what we're looking for is to someone, for someone to come along and just tell us exactly what to do instead of reminding us that we can trust ourselves. The question that gets asked a lot, when it comes to. Uh, decluttering and organizing a lot of times when I'm talking about organizing and saying, just get rid of stuff is, but what if I regret it afterward?

I can say FA I can say fully 100% without a shadow of the doubt. I have never regretted getting rid of something. Not ever I've regretted, not getting rid of something and then having to deal with it later. I've never regretted that. Now there are people out there listening. That are going to say, Kendra I've regretted something I've re of course, again, nothing is a hundred percent in life, but I will say that the vast and I mean, vast majority of people will tell you that they do not regret getting rid of it.

And you know, what most of the stuff that we have is not so absolutely priceless that we couldn't just get another one, if you absolutely positively regretted getting rid of something that he couldn't just to go get one that you couldn't go find one. And that's why it's so important to be discerning, which I'm going to talk about in a minute, because that's what decluttering with our kids' stuff does, is it teaches them discernment.

It teaches them to look at things and say, okay, Um, is this useful for me? Is this useful for me right now? Is this something that I'm going to want 10 years from now? Or is this something that's just cluttering up my space that I'm afraid to get rid of? I don't like to do things out of fear. And so therefore I don't teach things out of fear either.

I don't, I don't believe in fear-based keeping of things. I don't believe in keeping something just because you're afraid you might need it later. That is not the way I want to live my life. And I certainly don't want others to live there. Like that either, because feat, when you keep things out of fear, then you're asking for the stress later, you're basically setting yourself up for stress later.

And fear is not a way that I want to, um, it's not an emotion that I want to be making decisions from because I'm never going to make good decisions from fear. I'm always going to. Fear based decisions from fear. I'm going to make a poor decisions that I'm going to make decisions that tend not to support me.

Okay. So let's get into this. When it comes to toys, we're gonna start with toys and then go to artwork. One of the biggest questions that we can ask the most simple, the most just straightforward question is what are we playing with? What toys are your kids actually playing with? And this is about truth and honesty.

It's really about sitting down and asking yourself, what are we playing with and, and helping our children to see that there are a lot of toys that they have that they may never play with. Maybe they used to play with it and they don't anymore. And this is again about teaching discernment. Hey, listen, that toy is really great.

Do you actually play with that? No, then why do we need to keep it? And maybe talking through that now, do we need to do that with every toy? No, that can take a really long time, but it's a great place to start is to have those conversations about, here's why mommy thinks we really should donate this toy.

It's a toy. You got four years ago, it's for, you know, babies or it's for toddlers and you're not a toddler anymore. And I haven't seen you play with it in many years. So that's the reason that I think now I'd want you to tell me the reason you think you should keep it. And that's a great way to start communicating those, those things and learn.

Um, they can learn that discernment of Hm. You know, I really was keeping it because I just felt afraid to get ready. But now I can start to talk through the fact that I don't even play with that thing anymore. And maybe it would really be beneficial to someone else who is that age and is going to play with it.

So for toys, what are we playing with? The other thing that has to be taken into account that I'm sorry, just enough people don't take into account is how much space do I actually have. We have a storage problem in this country. In 2018, there were an estimated 2.5. Billion square feet of storage space in this country, in the us alone.

That was in 2018. I'm sure it's far more. Now we have an issue with thinking we need more space versus less stuff. And so just looking at how much space do we actually have, for example, When we lived in our first house where we had our daughter, um, it was small. It was maybe 900 square feet. I don't even think really if I add up all the space, it, I don't even know that it was 900 square feet.

It was a two bedroom. It was very small, very small kitchen, pretty small living room, not a whole lot of extra space. And so when we had our daughter, you know, we had to take those things into account. I can't just have a bunch of extra toys and big dollhouses and Barbie dream houses. We don't have the space for that.

So instead we got very good at discerning. What was the most valuable to her and taught her that over the years, because we just didn't have the space. We didn't have a choice. About keeping a playroom full of stuff because we didn't have a playroom. And so it was really great to say how much space do I actually have, and let's keep the things that are going to fit in that space.

And that's where I started that belief that if it doesn't fit, I probably don't need it. And so we had like a, for example, we had a cubby system, it was like nine. Um, nine squares and just got it from target like 2008. And we had the, uh, the baskets that go with it. And so I started to look at the fact that.

If it needs, it needs to all fit in there. So if it doesn't all fit in there, something's got to go. And it was a great way for my husband and, and me and my daughter to all learn that. And for her to learn that at a young age about it needs to all fit. And if it doesn't all fit, it's time to kind of look through and see are these things we're playing with?

Or can we donate it to someone else? Can we give it away? Um, is it, are there things that are broken? Are there toys that are broken, are the things that are unsafe or just not usable anymore? Great. Let's get rid of those things. So asking herself how much space you actually have is helpful now where this can become an issue for people are struck.

I don't want to say an issue, um, that makes it very negative. A struggle is when you do have space, when you're like, no, I have a giant playroom or I have a basement. And so we not only have to look at the space that we have, but how we want to use the space. Just because you have the space. Do you want it all taken up with toys or do you want that space to be available for actual playing?

Look at a classroom? A classroom is big in many cases. It's big enough to say hold 20 desks. That's what I mean. It's big, but it's not like they say, well, I mean, it's big. Let's just put all the stuff in it. We can just stack things. No, we want the kids to be able to learn and to move and to have movement in, you know, in that area.

So that's what we have to look at with the space is not just how much space we have, but what we're using the space. Am I holding onto this because of guilt or because it's what I really want. Again, something that's a great thing for us to work through with our kids. I'm really big on talking through these big feelings and emotions with our children.

Because, um, I know how it feels when you're a kid and you have big feelings and someone doesn't honor them and respect them. And when you just kind of feel like they're a burden and so it can be really great to actually have these conversations about feeling that guilt and where that comes from. And then saying, but how can we maybe bless someone else with this?

Or if something is broken, you know, why are we really keeping it? Are we, you know, we're keeping it. Cause I feel guilty. I feel bad because Nana gave this to me. Well, it's not useful anymore though. Sue, sorry. My nail just hit something. Um, it's not useful anymore. And so keeping it around is that. Taking up space and, you know, Nana would understand that we got our use out of it.

And now it's gone. So asking like, are we holding onto this because of guilt or because we, something we really want and the same goes for artwork and crafts and things like that. Something that people ask a lot. And I know that my friend, Allie, I get asked a lot because she talks about decluttering and minimalism is, should I do it with my kids?

Or should I do it? Like, just when they're out of the house, just go through their stuff. I think that there are two different schools of thought on this. And sometimes I vacillate back and forth because I know that it sometimes depends on the situation. I'm one of those people that's like, sometimes it just depends.

Depends on the situation and your family. But I do know that as your kids get older, there is a sense of ownership that they have over their stuff and it can feel, it can feel, um, Very defeating for a kid to come home after school or after being out and find that someone's gone through all their stuff and gotten rid of things without their permission.

And that I know can, it can feel like, um, mistrust and it can, it can build those feelings. And then I feel like a lot of times we're just asking for even more of a struggle afterward. And so my thing is I've never, unless my kids were very little I'm talking like babies, like they didn't know any different, right.

As they started to get older. Um, we don't, I don't go through my son's stuff without him asking. I don't go through my daughter's stuff without asking, without doing it together. Um, w it's just not how we roll in this house. And the reason is because I want them to take ownership of their stuff and their space.

And if I'm going to want them to take ownership over their stuff in their space, then I need to allow them some ownership over that. And so doing it together has been super helpful. Not only does it go faster, but it also allows us to have those communication moments. Um, right then now, again, that's going to depend on your situation.

I don't know your situation, so I'm not here to judge anyone. Um, it's just something that gets asked, and those are my feelings on that. I look at it this way. If I came home and my husband had gone through my closet and said, you know, I just felt like you knew you had too much stuff. You have too much stuff in your closet.

And so I went through it, I would feel heartbroken. I would feel angry. I would feel resentful. I would feel deceived and I don't want my kids to feel that. So if I want them to take ownership over their space. And so we do that together, um, and it's just something that we've always done. So that's my feelings on that.

As I say, with everything I'm using timers and working in batches is so helpful, especially with toys, because if you're going to do it with your kids, you know, kids have a short attention span, honestly, sort of adults. Like, can we just all say. As adults we have, I have a shorter attention span than I give myself credit for.

So we blame kids for having short attention span. So two adults, and so using timers really just allows us to work in those batches and feel like it's not this never ending task. And so what I like to do is just like maybe throw 20 minutes on the timer and say, okay, let's get all this done in 20 minutes.

And then as sometimes I will, when the 20 minutes goes off, I'll say, let's take a couple of minute break and then we're gonna come back and finish up this little area so that it doesn't end up being a bigger mess. It's like, if, if you say you're in a bedroom and you kind of taking everything out and it's making a bigger mess, cause decluttering often makes a bigger mess before it actually gets cleaned up.

What I'll do is we'll do like 20 minutes. We'll take a little break and then we'll say, let's finish this area so that at least it's cleaned up. Let's get the garbage bags out of here. Let's get the donation bins downstairs. However, we're going to do it. You know what? We'll tackle this side of the room tomorrow, next weekend, whenever we're going to do it.

But working in those batches is so hard. And just remembering that less stuff equals more space, the less stuff we have, the more space we have to actually enjoy. And that goes for everything. Now, when it comes to artwork and crafts and things like that, it's the same basic sentiment of what I just talked about with toys.

But I do know that there is more of a sentimental attachment to that. But one of my absolute favorite phrases that I have been saying for years that people love is that when everything has sentimental value, nothing has sentimental value. Sentimentality is based on the uniqueness of something it's based on the emotional attachment.

And when that happens with everything, it kind of loses it. Special-ness it loses that sentimentality. When we say everything, when, when everything that our kids have ever put their hands on is sentimental. It kind of loses that specialness because later on, and yeah. If you're keeping all that stuff to give to them.

When they're an adult, they're not going to remember half of that stuff. And now they're stuck with a box of stuff. I was going to say crap, but in many cases I do feel that way, a box of stuff that was kept. And now it's now it's their responsibility to go through and choose what sentimental to them. Um, and now it's a burden on them and.

I look at sentimental stuff. As this needs to spark a memory, it needs to spark something. It needs to spark a time in our lives. Um, it needs to spark different phases, different seasons. Um, and so choosing one or two things from each of those is so great because it sparks that. But if I kept every single notebook that my daughter ever used to draw circles in.

Yeah. Three, um, that that would take up all of our space and that's not, that's not helpful to her because later on in life, if she's gonna look at that, she's gonna be like, mom, why did you keep five notebooks full of snowmen that I drew? Why didn't you just keep one or two? You know? And so that's a great way to start to look at this as like asking our kids to say, Hey, you are so great at drawing beaches.

Now, like you have been practicing and I am loving all these pictures of beaches. How about we pick. The best one, the one, the one that you love the most, we're going to pick that one. And that's the one that we're going to keep, we're going to put in a frame. We're going to put in an album, we're going to put on the wall.

We're going to put in our tote to keep for, you know, later on down the line that we're going to save. And it's really, again, I go back to the word it's discernment. It's a great way for children to learn that my daughter's an artist. A true artist in every sense of the word. And that's something that she's learned over the years, you know, she'll go through her artwork and she'll Chuck things.

She'll take pictures of some things and then throw them out so that she can have kind of that running, um, book or, um, like a timeline of her work. But she's like, I don't need to keep everything. I, some of the artwork I did as a practice and now I can get rid of it because I'm keeping only the things that I, that I most enjoy.

And so when our kids are little. You know, number one, they feel so proud of everything that they've made and they should, and we feel proud of them and we're like, no, but look, they put, they like glued, um, all these little, uh, cotton balls on this piece of paper. And it's so cute. It is. It's amazing. But if they did that 50 times, it's like we have to choose one so that we're not overwhelmed.

And so that we don't overwhelm them. I've heard a lot of stories from adults that are like, my mom just handed me seven totes worth of stuff from my childhood. And I'm actually kind of angry because I'm like, I don't want all this. I don't want this burden of going through it now. I really would rather, she have just kept wanting to.

And it's like very, very special things. And so that's something to think about with the artwork and the crafts and all that. And again, something to work through together. So have a system to deal with that have a system of, okay. You know, we're, we're drawing, we're drawing. Great. Are we going to, um, keep one of these papers?

Are we going to keep to, you know, have a system for how many of something we're actually going to keep and where are we going? So in our house, we have the big plastic totes and we've kept them downstairs. We have stuff from my daughter's preschool on up through now when she's 14 years old, same for my son, but we have one toe and my son is in third grade and we have one total.

My daughter, I think has like one and a half. Cause again, we go through it and just like, we only keep a few things from each year. So things that are not artwork, things like their report cards from each year, you know, little like if they did some fun project that, that fits in there or a writing sample, just things that are like a little something from each school year to remember.

And it's like the progress of it. And same with the artwork as well, kind of shows the progression, but having an area to actually store it is really important too. And something, I am just a huge, huge advocate of is we live in the digital age. Y'all take a picture of it and keep it new Google drive. You can keep millions of pictures, right?

Like you, I have two terabytes in my Google drive and we're not even like, close to it. W w like being in the, in the progress bar, we're like, be like barely at 1%, because just the pictures just don't take up as much space. So take all the pictures, get a storage solution, either a Google drive or Dropbox or Shutterfly or something, a folder on your phone.

And have it specifically for that child or that year or school year, you can organize it however you want to. Um, you can have a Google drive that say it's like, um, Everett's artwork and it could be kindergarten. And there could be a sub folder for kindergarten, a sub folder for first grade, second grade.

And you can keep all of those. Very very easy to set up and then you can just take pictures of everything and then you can create an amazing picture book. At the end of the year. You can get them printed at Walmart and CVS and Shutterfly. And, oh my gosh, all of those places, print photo books now, and they're relatively inexpensive compared to what they used to be.

They're nothing and you can get them printed and now you have a beautiful book with all of that and it takes up, you know, Like one 50th of the space and it's something that they can keep that they can take with them if they want. And you can also print out multiple copies, which is great. And so I'm just a huge advocate of that.

Allowing them to enjoy the artwork and allowing them to see their own progression and allowing them to celebrate what they have made while also honoring that we only have so much space that we don't need to keep everything. Okay. And that's, I just love that idea. It's been so helpful to us. We've done that actually virtual, it worked so great because they did all their artwork at home.

Like his art class was at home and so we had all of it and. You know, we just don't have the space to keep every single thing that you've done. So what he did is he kept his favorites. I actually bought one from him to put on, uh, in my office, if you've ever seen. A video of me behind me, you'll see an amazing picture.

Allah Everett had a C it is a colorful background and it's, uh, an ice cream cone. And it was just one of the, uh, the various like mediums that they were learning, um, and an artist. And I loved it so much. And I asked him if I could. I said, I'd love to buy this and put this in my office. So I bought it from him.

We have another two that we framed because they were beautiful. And then other ones, he was like, ah, I don't really care that one. I didn't, it doesn't really matter. And so it was really great for us to through the years to talk through that. And it hasn't always been easy, you know, some years, or sometimes my kids have just been like, oh, I want to keep everything.

And so sometimes. I said, okay, we're not going to talk about this right now. We're just going to, we'll keep everything. And you know what? Maybe as the weeks and months go by, we bring it up again because this takes time. Kids need to learn this over time and it's okay if they're not all in it. And if they get emotional, let's honor their emotions for what they are and allow them to be emotional over the fact that they made something.

And maybe they want you to, to keep it for awhile. Right. So I hope that this has been really helpful for you. The thing with decluttering is it's more than we can talk about in a 30, 40 minute podcast here. There's so much, there's so many deeper things. That go into all of it, especially around the mindset and the emotion and doing it with kids and dealing with, with trauma that some of us may have from childhood that we're bringing into adulthood.

There's so much more to this, but I hope that this was a great starting point for you. Something you can listen to and yeah. It started this week with it, um, with your kids. And as I mentioned at the beginning, I would absolutely love if you would leave us a really great review. If you are loving this podcast, it would just be so helpful.

I appreciate all of you for listening, for continuing to listen for sharing this out for sending your words of encouragement to me. I appreciate you so much. You'll just never know how much I love and appreciate every single one of you listening. So thanks so much. And as always go forth and mother like a boss.

Ep 275: When no one sees the mess but you

Sometimes I think socks are invisible and that I have magical sight because it seems that I'm the only one that notices them sitting on the couch. It's all fun and games until you realize you're frustrated, resentful and exhausted because you're the only one that seems to see the mess around you. How can you take work off your shoulders if you feel like you're the only one that cares?

You're not alone. You're valid. Let's talk about what to dow hen no one sees the mess but you.

Looking for the transcript for this episode? Keep scrolling for the full transcription.

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Episode transcription

It's okay to admit that mom life feels harder than you ever thought it would be. It's also okay to want it to feel easier. We're surrounded by mixed messages all day. Keep a clean house, but not too clean. Take a rest mama, but not too long. That's just selfish. Homemaking is dead, but you better still take care of everything.

Everything. We're told you have two choices, be Pinterest perfect. Or a 24 7 hot mess. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. And over it, I'm Kendra Hennessy, founder of mother, like a boss, and I put reluctant homemakers back in the driver's seat of motherhood with realistic routines and practical mindset shifts.

I believe in empowering you to create a home that feels like a safety net, not a tight rope, I believe in martyr free motherhood. That puts you behind the wheel of your own life. As a mom of two, I'm here to give you judgment, free strategies and have honest conversations. But you with what you need to live your absolute best mom life.

Welcome to the Mother Like a Boss Podcast.

Hey there friends. Welcome back to the mother like a boss podcast. It's your host, Kendra Hennessy and every now and then I like to do a really short episode, not every single episode that we do needs to be 30 or 40 minutes long. It doesn't have to be full of tips and things that you need to write down and come back to.

Sometimes I just like to do an episode that is validating and encouraging and supporting and just me from, you know, from one mom to another, just really reminding you that your feelings are valid and that the things that are happening inside your home and inside your relationships and mother. Are not abnormal most of the time and are, um, completely like valid and that you're not alone.

Really. I've been digging into this feeling of what it means to be lonely. I posted about it on Instagram recently. Um, so you can go check it. At mother, like a boss on Instagram, um, really just digging into this feeling of like loneliness, even when you're not alone feeling lonely, even in like a room full of people.

And I think that sometimes one of the things that causes loneliness for moms is the feeling that we're living our lives inside a vacuum. And that really no one else sees what's going on inside our homes and inside our lives, except for us. And it can feel like we're the only ones dealing with it. So today's episode, I wanted to just talk quickly about when no one sees the mess, but yeah.

When you're the only one that seems to see the piles, the socks on the floor, the toys, the dishes in the sink, the overflowing garbage can yet, again, the toothpaste stuck to the bathroom sink, you know, the stuff all over the floor, the laundry piled up when it seems like no one else sees that, but you now I'm talking to moms because this is the mother, like a boss podcast.

I will also say that sometimes. It's the dad sometimes it's, you know, there may be people listening that aren't moms. And so maybe it's you in a relationship or maybe living with a roommate, but I will say because I talk to moms, it's some other like boss podcasts. That's who I'm talking to here and. A lot of times, it's this feeling that why am I the only one that sees this mess?

And I just want to validate you that you're not crazy and you're not obsessive. I mean, maybe, maybe you have obsessive qualities, but that's a whole other story and something, you know, something different to discuss today. I want to discuss the fact that. I know what that feels like. I understand, and that it can feel very lonely, frustrating, angering.

You can develop resentful. It's disappointing. All of those words and feelings come up when it seems like you're the only one that sees the mess. Why am I the only one that sees it? Why am I the only one that recognized it? Why am I the only one that cares? Okay. That's the part that comes up. Why am I, the only one that cares about this, my spouse doesn't seem to care.

My kids don't seem to care. No one else seems to care. So I want to just remind everyone here that everyone has a different threshold and what we notice is going to be different from person to person. And when I started to recognize that in my own home, in my own life, even in my own business with my team, When I started to realize and not even realize, just remember, because I always knew this, that everyone is different and the things that people notice are going to be different than what I do.

And there's a different threshold for what a mess is. I know that if I went into some, some other person's house, they may think a mess is just having a crumb on the floor. I was actually just watching friends where we were watching friends again for like the hundred and 50th time. And there's a part where, uh, Monica is talking about there being crummy he's on the floor.

And Chandler's like, yo, I was so careful. And it started to make me think of that, about how like her threshold for a mess was very deep. Then Joey's, you know, where you could drop spaghetti on the ground. And he was like, eh, no big deal. And that is just because everyone just has a different threshold and everyone has a different definition of what a mess is.

And so of course it's going to be different from person to person. And when we can start to realize that in our own families, that each person and individual is different. Then we can start focusing more on the expectation of the home and how we can work together. Instead of always focusing on it, being up to us as the mom to decide what is a mess and what is not a mess.

And instead work together and communicate what that looks like and why feeling like you're the only one that cares is really exhausting and lonely. And how we can better communicate about that. The truth is that my husband notices a whole bunch of stuff that I don't notice having to do with like the mechanical things in the house, things I would just like ignore or forget about, or not even notice or noises or outdoor issues, you know, a lot of times it's like he notices stuff outdoors and I'm like, oh, I don't know.

Didn't even notice it doesn't even bother me or stuff with my car. Because that is what his wheelhouse is. That is what he is focusing on. But socks being on the ground may or may not be a big deal to him. This is why regular and open communication matters so much. It matters that you communicate how you feel because your feelings matter.

And what I found as someone who is by the way, disclaimer, disclaimer, not a relationship expert, not a communications expert, not a. Marriage counselor, but something I've really noticed is that a lot of times the women in my audience, aren't great at communicating with their spouses or partners or children.

Not because they're not good communicators, but because we think that our feelings aren't valid enough to community. We think that we're over estimating how we feel. We think that we're blowing things out of proportion. We think that we're being dramatic. All of these words that we're inundated with throughout our lives as girls and as young women and then moms and then wives or partners, right.

You're being overly dramatic, calmed down and. A lot of times that infiltrates into the way that we communicate, because it seems like, and this is a whole other conversation. It seems like, well, no one will listen unless I'm yelling. And I'm angry because that's the emotion that people will listen to. But many times it's that we didn't even try communicating a different way because we held back thinking that.

It was too dramatic and that I really shouldn't even be communicating about something like this. This is ridiculous. You know, I hear a lot of times, well, my husband works really hard and he doesn't need another thing to think about. Or my spouse, you know, is working and I stay home or vice versa. And so I shouldn't, I shouldn't be bothering them with this thing, but if we want our expectations to be met, if we want our needs to be met, we have to express.

If we don't express our expectations, how can people live up to them? How can people meet them? They don't even have to live up to them. That was a whole separate topic. People are not required to meet or exceed our expectations just because we have them. Communication is about expressing our expectations and our needs, and then asking others to meet us there.

And then us doing that for them. If we're going to communicate that, seeing the mess, maybe it's the piles of laundry and then not getting taken care of. Maybe if we're going to express that, that is very bothersome to you and that it causes anxiety and that you need more help, then we also need to be ready for what they communicate.

And there needs to be this, this compromise area. Cause that's what communication is. It's not about talking. It's also about listening and that's why it's so important. We people come to me and think, well, no one sees the mess, but me. And so can you give me some tips and tricks to help this? Well, the first tip and trick is have you even communicated this communication means sitting down and having a conversation, not yelling or screaming or nagging.

Which we've all done by the way. I am not excluded from that. But that would be my first tip, trick or hack is actually sitting down and deciding what, um, what the messes that you see that no one else does are. And do you even have routines in place to maintain them? So communication matters, but this is why routines help too.

So here, I'm going back to what I always talk about routines help with this because routines don't rely on anyone seeing anything. They don't rely on everyone. Being the same routines, make it a habit to get things done. Even when you don't notice, if on Mondays you do your laundry, then you do it. Whether you noticed it or not, it's just something you do.

If each week you guys all cleaned the house together. If everyone cleans the house, that's something you do. Whether someone noticed it was messy. Routines really help with this because then it doesn't really matter so much if someone doesn't notice that. So an example of this is my son loves to sit at our counter.

We have a counter that has, um, four stools and that's where he loves to sit. He lets just sit there and eat breakfast. He loves to sit there, Nita snacks. He loves to sit there, you know, play Minecraft on his iPad. He loves to sit there. Color it's like his little space. So it tends to get messier. It tends to accumulate more stuff.

It's tends to get dirtier. And so we just have this, this routine that at night, that area needs to be cleaned up. Now I know that left to his own devices. He just leave the stuff there. It doesn't bother him. It's the kitchen. What do I care? That's his thought, but we have a routine. Of at night before bed, this area needs to be cleaned up.

Actually, a lot of times, if it's very messy, it needs to be done before I make dinner. But, you know, depending on the day, it may just be like before bed, that area needs to be cleaned up garbage, thrown away toys, put away, take a little spray, spray it down, wipe it it's a whole routine. It doesn't rely on him seeing the mess that I see all day and sort of Twitch sometimes like, oh my God.

Cause in my perfect world, there would be no messes on any of the counters. And it would look like it was in a magazine, but that's not. Because that's not life. So we just have a routine around it. Now I'm not relying on him meeting some expectation of being a perfect kid who sees the messes that I do.

He doesn't see that he's eight, his mind thinks in different ways. And I don't expect him to see things in the same way that I do. And I don't expect him at this point in his life. To care as much about the kitchen counter being clean as I do instead, there's a bigger culture that I want all of us in our home.

Understand, which is, it's not about seeing the mess. It's about all of us respecting each other space and saying we all live here together. So it's important that all of us pitch in and do our part because we are all living here together. We all use the kitchen counter. We all use the floors. We all use the bathrooms.

We all use the living area. And so because of that, we all need to do our part to maintain it. That's part of a bigger culture, that isn't just about the small detail of making sure that the kitchen counter stays clean. That can be a routine. We want to talk about the bigger culture, which is all about communication and expectation.

For sure. We want to ensure at least in our home, and this is what I'm expressing to you, that we kind of set up expectations and then communicate them and agree upon them. A lot of times we think, um, as, as moms, that our job is to just set the expectation in somebody else's just supposed to snap too. But the truth is that great expectations are really about expressing your needs, hearing the other person's needs and meeting somewhere.

How can I have my expectations met and you have your expectations met and how can we meet even remove the word expectation? And talk more about our needs and our desires instead of expectations, which oftentimes can lead to resentment because we oftentimes have expectations in our head about how someone should act that we didn't express and that they didn't agree on, which causes a lot of friction and causes a lot of resentment.

So when it comes to no one seeing the mess, but you a great thing to ask yourself is where. Have I expressed these expectations of what I'm looking for it and do the people in my house even know that this bothers me. And how can I, um, start to set up routines so that it's not a matter of someone having to see things the same way that I do.

And instead we can just co-exist together and live together in harmony in our home. Also celebrating that each person is different and they're going to see things different and different things are going to bother them. Things bother my son. That don't bother me things about her, my daughter, that don't bother me and vice versa, and it doesn't make one of us right or wrong.

And if we can remove this idea that it's right to see the mess and it's wrong not to see it, if we can remove those labels, then we can start to be open more to cultivating a culture where everyone respects the living space and the expectations are different. Back and forth, but what I really just wanted you to know.

Is that you're valid and heard here and understood, and that it is frustrating and it's okay for you to be frustrated and disappointed and angry and resentful because those feelings are valid and we just get to choose if we want to stay there, or if we want to shift it up and I'll tell you what, I don't want to live in a home where I'm frustrated all the time.

I don't want to be resentful. I don't want to be angry. Those feelings don't feel good to me. So I honor them for what they are. They teach me what they need to teach. And then I want to choose something much different. So I hope that this has been helpful for you today. I'm thankful for you being here and listening.

Be sure to share this out with a friend that you know needs that you can come follow me. As I said on Instagram @motherlikeaboss

Let me know that you're listening to this episode, uh, and I'll catch it in the next one and as always go forth and mother, well, this episode may be over, but we don't have to say goodbye.

Head over to motherlikeaboss.com for more resources that will help you shift your mindset and put you firmly back in the driver's seat of motherhood. We're all in this together. And if you're on the socials, let's be friends. Follow me on Instagram at mother, like a boss for daily updates behind the scenes, fun and weekly live chats.

I'll catch you next week.

Ep 274: Beating the chaos of back to school season

The pencils, glue sticks and aisles and aisles of binders have been out at Target since early July, but the time is here: it's back to school season. I love this time of year because it feels like mom new year. It's a fresh start. It's also a season of overwhelm, but does it have to feel that way?

In today's episode, I'm going to talk about how to beat the chaos of back to school season and start the year off more organized and stress-free.

Keep scrolling for the full transcript from this episode.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why back to school season is one of the best time to start new routines

• How to start your morning the night before (and get more done!)

• Simple strategies to help you make this school year the easiest and least stressful ever.

More value comin’ atcha. Check out these resources:

• Mom life makes staying consistent with your routines and habits 10X harder than it needs to be. Let’s fix that and get (and stay) consistent, zero perfection necessary. Download your free consistency tracker and mini-training here.

• Looking for a podcast episode on a specific topic? We’ve made it simple. Check out the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast Directory here and find the episodes you’re looking for organized by topic.

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If you loved this episode as much as I loved sharing it, there is more where that came from.

• Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out. And I would just loooove if you would leave a review and rating. It's a little thing that makes a big difference and helps me to continue to bring super valuable content and fabulous guests.

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Whether you're looking to create more than just an organized command center for your family, or you're ready to make this year that you finally get your ish together, I've got you covered.

Homemakerish U is a modern solution for creating a home that’s manageable and a life that’s uncomplicated for any mom, in every season.

Join over 3500+ other moms who have taken control of their lives and homes by stepping up to become #homemakerish

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Episode 274 Transcript

It's okay to admit that mom life feels harder than you ever thought it would be. It's also okay to want it to feel easier. We're surrounded by mixed messages all day. Keep a clean house, but not too clean. Take a rest mama, but not too long. That's just selfish. Homemaking is dead, but you better still take care of everything.

Every day. We're told you have two choices, the Pinterest perfect, or a 24 7 hotline. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. And over it, I'm Kendra Hennessy, founder of Mother Like a Boss™ and I put reluctant homemakers back in the driver's seat of motherhood with realistic routines and practical mindset shifts.

I believe in empowering you to create a home that feels like a safety net, not a tight rope, I believe in martyr free motherhood. That puts you behind the wheel of your own life. As a mom of two, I'm here to give you judgment, free strategies and have honest conversations that equip you with what you need to live your absolute best mom life.

Welcome to the Mother Like a Boss™ Podcast.

Before we get into this episode. Mama, I want to tell you something. I want to tell you that you're doing. You are wonderful, even if we've never met. I need you to hear that today. I need you to know that you are understood, valued and respected here because mom life feels anything but easy lately.

The past 17 plus months brought mom. The state of burnout to basically complete and utter exhaustion. I've seen it firsthand myself, feeling the pressure of virtual school, keeping my kids healthy and safe, running a business all while feeling the weight of a global pandemic on my shoulders. More than ever.

I see the absolute need for moms to get back to basics, to Uncomplicate the day-to-day and start running your life. So it's not running you because the number one struggle I'm hearing right now from moms, just like. Is that mom lay feels hard, not difficult. Hard like slogging through wet cement, that's driving too fast.

So we're going back to simple with my brand new free training, a mini course called Becoming Homemakerish crash course. And you're invited to join right now. I'm going to show you how to take charge of your home, your routines and your life. One simple step at a time. So it's as simple as signing up at motherlikeaboss.com/crashcourse, no specific start date, no video to sit in front of a screen for I've created this class to be as easy as possible for every mom.

If you're listening to this podcast, you can listen to this audio course. Each episode of the class is short, but packed with value. And I'm going to give you simple steps to finally get on board with a more supportive mindset to end the perfectionism cycle, to can take control of your time by owning your schedule and to get organized in every space.

You can listen inside the course platform or the private podcast feed that is downloaded right to your phone, you get to choose. So we're offering it in more than one way. This is a complete mini course that you can sign up for free at motherlikeaboss.com/crashcourse

So excited for you to come in and join us. Let's lift the burden friend, sign up for free motherlikeaboss.com/crashcourse and get listening instantly after you finish this episode.

Hey there friends. Welcome back to another episode of the mother like a boss podcast. It's your host again Kendra Hennessy as if it would be someone different. I say that every time, like, it's your host again? Kendra Hennessy, but like who else would it be? Well, if I had a guest host, which really has never happened, but I do like to say that because I know we have new friends. Every single day, every episode, um, these episodes get shared out and new people start listening.

So I just like to introduce myself. So whether you're new or you've been listening for the last three plus years, I welcome you here. And I'm excited to jump into today's episode, which is all about beating the cat. Of back to school season. So I know that some of you have already gone back to school and some of you listening live have not gone back to school.

It really depends on where in the world you are. So I usually do this at the beginning of September. Because I find that it's that good middle ground where I know there are a lot of people starting in like early to mid August and then people starting in late August and then people starting in September after labor day, we start after labor day.

So I'm an upstate New York. We don't get done with school until, you know, like June 20th, ish. That's usually around the time we're done with school here. And then we don't go back until after late. So I just like to do these episodes sort of in that middle time. Um, so that it hits as many people as possible because I find if I do this episode too early, some people are just like, I don't even want to think about this right now.

So you may have already started school. But the great thing is that there is no bad time to readjust your routines. Um, there is no wrong time. It's never too late. To kind of say, you know what, we're going to take a step back. We're going to figure out how we can ensure that this school year is not chaotic.

That there's less stress in whatever way is possible. I know that this back to school season is, I mean, it's different than last year for sure. But there are also a lot of unknowns for people, you know, Still a lot of fear for a lot of people. There's, there's more stress than usual because of COVID. I totally understand that, but I will say for myself, I feel much different than I did last year.

Last year, there were so many unknowns. Um, last year we chose to do virtual. The kids started later. We didn't even start until mid September and the first few weeks everyone was virtual and then kids didn't go back to school in person until the first week in October, everything was just different and different can be hard because different means unknown and different means more stressful and unknown means more stressful.

So I understand that for some people, there is still a lot of that, but I also do want to acknowledge that. For myself. And many of my friends that I've talked to there is at least a difference from last year in a lightening a little bit, and hoping to get back to normalcy. I know for our school district, um, you know, they sent out the proposal for the new school year, a few weeks ago, and a lot of words like pre COVID, like, you know, getting back to a pre COVID.

World in the, in the schools, um, with some exceptions, uh, w it just felt good. It felt like some normalcy, even though it's not completely back to normal. All right. So I just want to acknowledge that, and I want to acknowledge that your feelings of anxiety or fear or worry, or of the unknown, and if it's causing stress, they're totally valid and you don't have to shame yourself into not feeling that way, just because somebody else doesn't.

Um, and I just want us always to remember that the feelings that we have are valid and that you're never shamed for them here. So when we're looking at beating the chaos of back to school, and really what I want us to focus on is creating a school year that is not chaotic. Like how can we start now?

Fresh. And continue that through the next few months and into the new year. What I see happening a lot, which tends to happen around the new year as well is that we set these big audacious goals and resolutions first. And it's too much for us to do at once. And so then we fall off and I see this, that back to school time, I like to think of back to school.

Time is like mom, new year. Uh, yes. I know dads are involved. This is a mother like boss podcast. I talked to mom, so that's why I'm talking to, um, I like to think of it. As I always, since my kids have been going to school, it was like, it's like mom, new year. Cause it's like this fresh start. And then we have the new year that comes up in a few months.

And so with that, I see what happens with a lot of people. Is that they think this is going to be a different year. And instead of focusing on one or two areas that they want to improve on that they want to make less stressful routines. They want to focus on. It's like we burn the whole thing to the ground and start from scratch.

Well, that is very daunting. And that's a lot for you to do while you're also trying to manage everything else in your life. Remember. Your kids going back to school is just one portion of your life. And when we thrust ourselves into fixing and changing every single part of that, it's a lot. And what happens is after a few weeks, sometimes even just a few days, we completely fall off.

Then we feel like a failure because we couldn't do it. Couldn't hang. And then that affects our, how we show up because we're like, well, why even bother? Forget it. My life is just chaotic. It's just the way that it is. We don't subscribe to that here. We don't subscribe to that hot mess. Mom, culture of like nothing is ever going to be good as a mom.

Everything's going to be stressful. I can't ever get my ish together. We're allowed to have a hot mess days. We have them all the time, hot mess moments. It doesn't have to be your personality type and you don't have to fall into that belief that your not good enough to make it work for you because you are.

So some things that have very much helped me and help my stress. I'm going to talk through today. So the first thing is what are my expectations for myself and my kids? What are my actual expectations for this new year? If I want it to be less chaotic, less stressful, what do I expect? Do I expect that we're just going to get out of the house on time.

That we're going to get out of the house a little bit earlier that the kids are going to get on the bus that we're going to ensure we have lunches made the night before. Um, is it that the kids are gonna pick their own clothes? Is that they're going to get dressed before they eat breakfast or vice versa.

What are your actual expectations? Most people do not ever take a hard look at what their expectations. They don't ever sit down and write them out or talk with others about them. We only ever realize what our expectations are when they haven't been met. When we don't get our expectations met because we didn't communicate them in the first place.

Then we feel resentful over them. We feel disappointed. We feel angry, but the truth is if you never realize what your expectations were, never communicated them. How can anyone meet them? So what are the expectations of myself and my kids and how will we meet those? Well, if my expectation is that we're going to get out of the house 10 minutes earlier than we did last year.

So we ensure that we're not late to school. How are we going to meet. What are the things that need to happen? It's like working backwards. You're saying here is the end result I want, now I need to work backwards. Well, then that means we need to ensure that things are done earlier. Does that mean we have to wake up earlier?

Does that mean that we have to, uh, get things done the night before? Are there systems we need to put in place for that to happen, but you have to know how you're going to meet those expectations in the first place. I do really encourage people when they know that a season is going to be changing. So back to school is a great example of this is to start this early, start it like a week before.

Well, I used to do this when I went back to school, probably starting in like middle school or high school. Before that I know that my mom wanted us to do this. The week before school started, we kind of got up at the time we were going to get up. If we were going to school and got ready as if we were going to school.

What that did was it got us into not only got us into the routine, but it also gives you some leeway to kind of, um, Assess, if things are going, you know, if, if you're doing the things that you need to be doing well, gee, I woke up at six and then I got myself ready and now I realize, boy, it only takes me 20 minutes to get ready.

I really don't need to wake up at six or I need to wake up earlier or, oh, I need to do these things the night before. It's sort of like a test launch. That's how I look at it. Yeah. When, uh, when, uh, um, rocket ship is going to go up into space, they do a lot of test launches to troubleshoot what could go wrong and to make sure that it's as perfect as possible when they're actually launching.

Now, if school has already started for you and you're like, well, dang it, Kendra. That's already happened. That's okay. Because what you can do is maybe try it on a weekend. You could do it on like a Sunday. If you realize you went back to school and you're like, It just, it didn't turn out the way I want. We need to reassess our routines.

Great. Try it on the weekend. Give it a try for on a Saturday or a Sunday when you're not going to school again, because then you can assess a little bit more, but you have to know what your expectations are and how you're going to meet them. The other thing that I think a lot of parents do not do, I'm going to call us all out right now.

Uh, what are the expectations my kids have. What is their input on what would make the days go smoother? We are very much as parents all about the doing and the telling our kids what to do and the creating the routines for them and the creating the habits for them. But what about what they want? What about what would make things run smoother for them?

The chaos and the stress trickles down. We often think that I think it like goes up, it trickles up, but it doesn't. And a lot of the reasons that our kids tend to be, um, more stressed out or running late or. Feeling out of sorts or throwing fits is because they're getting that from us. Not that we are teaching that necessarily, but that feeling the emotions are trickling down.

So if we can ask them, Hey, you know, what would feel better this school year? What would feel easier for you? Would it be not doing homework when you first get home from school? Would it be doing your homework when you first get home from school? So you're not waiting? Would it be reading before bed? Would it be having a.

You know, I don't know, having some kind of system in place, um, for the morning time that ensures that your shoes and your jacket and your backpack are all in the same place, so that it's easy to just get out the door. What would be the things that would work for them. So that's something that, um, is really important is to just know what their expert, your expectations are and their expectations are and get the input.

We definitely want to create a system for getting out of the house. If you are not homeschooling, if you're homeschooling, it's very different. You're not getting out of the house necessarily, but if your kids go to school in any way, creating a system for getting out the door and what happens when they come home, those two times are really crucial.

Like how can we create a system so that. In the morning, everything is already set. We're not scrambling. We're not searching around the house for the backpack. We're not searching around the house for the thing that we need to bring to school for a show and tell we're not searching around the house for a missing shoe.

Everything is already there. Now the easiest way to do that is to do it the night before plain and simple. You know, I realize everyone's situation is different, but if I had one tip, I could give people it start your morning routine. That's it, uh, good morning routine starts the evening before, because you're more in control in your evening than you are in your morning.

And then what happens when they come home? Cause that tends to be where that breakdown happens as well is the coming home and just throwing the backpack somewhere and not taking the lunch out. And then it gets all gross. And, and then by the evening time, then everyone's tired. And then you forget about the fact that they, you had to sign a permission slip.

So, what is the system when they come home now, something that is really important. This is why it's important to have the input from your kids is they may be starving when they get home. So maybe they do want to just drop their backpack and get a snack. Okay. Well, is there a way that if you go pick them up from school, could you bring a snack for them to have in the car so that they're not coming in the house and feeling ravaged and then kind of being out of sorts when they come home?

Or if you don't and they take a bus. Great. Is there a way for them to get a snack immediately to have that ready? Right. When they come in and then, okay. You've had your snack now, what is our next step that we're going to do now? We're going to go back, get our backpacks, take things out. What is the system you're gonna to.

For that, because that's going to help with the chaos. When we don't have systems, we end up having chaos and stress. Right? So again, what is your morning routine? What are the things you're going to do in the morning? And then what are the things you're going to do when they get home? Whether they get home directly, whether they go to a daycare or after-school program and then come home.

Whenever that situation is just having a system for that. Another thing that I really love to do with having a Sunday check-in for the week ahead. Having like a 10 to 20 minute check-in and I don't mean like a sit-down check-in necessarily, but almost. Um, a refresh it's like a Sunday refresh for the week.

That's a really great way to kind of get out of that chaotic back to school season. Um, and just doesn't matter if it's now or it's in December or it's March of next year, but helping the wheat to go smooth. Sunday is a great time to do that because it's the start of the week and just having the check-in of, okay.

What are the things coming up this week? Let's look ahead at the calendar together for our personal calendar and the school calendar. Are there any projects that are due or is there anything you need from me? How can we set up the week? How can we ensure that we have, maybe we have snacks already packed up and ready to go set out for the week?

Um, maybe it's grocery shopping, maybe it's planning the lunches. But having just a quick check-in, doesn't have to be very long. If you have enough time to listen to this podcast, you have enough time to do a Sunday. Check-in just something simple. And it's also a great routine to teach your kids like, Hey, we're refreshing for the week.

And so what are the things we need to do to get ourselves ready to prepare so that we're not. For the week ahead. And the last thing I want to leave you with is just a little bit of Kendra friendly advice. Don't do what everyone else is doing. Just out of fear of judgment. Do what works for you. So what I mean is if you're like, listen, I don't like packing lunches.

I don't want to pack lunches. My kids buy lunch, but you have a friend that's like, oh, my kids never buy lunch because I like to cook them wholesome, organic. Great. That's good for her. Do what works for you. Neither of those situations is wrong or right. It's right for them. So do what works for you and your particular situation when it comes to, I mean, that's just great advice in general, but when it comes to your kids and school and the routines that you guys have, it's okay to do what works for you.

I know that there are parents out there that say my kids will absolutely do homework when they walk in the door, because that's something that they've realized works for their family. That doesn't work for us. I like to give my kids some, some time they've been in school all day, especially when they go back to school, actually, especially when they were virtual.

I wanted my son away from the computer. I wanted him away from a desk. I wanted him outside playing. Or do playing with Legos or reading, or even watching something on TV, just enjoying something that didn't take all of his brain power, because he's been using that all day. And then we had a specific time which was before dinner that that's when homework got done, but neither one of those things is right or wrong.

It's just right for what works for us. So you don't have to do what works for everyone else. Um, if someone else's judging you, that's on them, their judgment, as a reflection of them, it's not a reflection of you. And if we could all get to a place where we realized. We could do what works for us. It would be so much better and we'd all be so much happier.

So thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that you're back to school. Season is incredible. Come onto Instagram, which is where I hang out the most. Follow me at mother like a boss. And come tell me about your back to school season. Did you already start? Are you starting now? If you have any followup questions, if you have any tips that you want to share with me, I would love to hear that.

Be sure to share this episode out with a friend, especially your parent friends out there, because this can be extremely helpful for them to just get started, kickstart this to be the best school year ever for you and your kids. And as always go forth and mother like a boss. Well, this episode may be over, but we don't have to say goodbye.

Head over to mother like a boss.com for more resources that will help you shift your mindset and put you firmly back in the driver's seat of motherhood. We're all in this together. And if you're on the socials, let's be friends. Follow me on Instagram @motherlikeaboss for daily updates behind the scenes, fun and weekly live chats.

I'll catch you next week.